2005 11 01 archive

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Test Post

I’ve been having some issues with some posts recently, and this is just a test to see if it shows up. I’m gonna be pissed if it doesn’t…Scroll down for stuff that may may be somewhat funny.

Extreme Sports and Extreme Marketing are the roots of all communism

I simply can’t stand it when I walk into a store and see something like, “XTREME chewing gum!”, or “Fudge cookies, with XTREME fat added, for that XTREME heart blockage!” What exactly makes it so extreme? They taste just the same as the not XTREME ones, so why should I pay an extra dollar for XTREME potato chips? Another thing I hate is extreme sports. I think I heard an extreme sports enthusiast say once,

“Yeah, dude, I totally jumped up in the air and pulled a narly ButtPlug 670, but I totally beefed on the pipe, bro. I shattered my pelvis and I am now crippled from the waist down, but it was all worth it dude! Rad! EXTREME!”

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m black, but I don’t get why someone would want to risk their physical well being to jump up in the air and spin around a couple times. I also fail to see why people find it exciting, “OMGWTFBBQ! He spun around in the air 5 times!” Whoop-de fucking doo. I’d rather have a hernia than go to the X-Games. It’s probably just a bunch of stupid stank-ass hippies screaming “EXTREME” in an attempt to deafen the person next to them. God damn stupid extreme hippies. Why don’t you all take the EXTREME express into EXTREME outer space, and then go fly into the EXTREME black hole so the rest of us will never have to hear your EXTREME selves again.

In Conclusion:

Extreme stuff is extreme bullshit, extremely

Listen to the not-extreme Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism, but don’t tell them it’s extreme

Monday, November 21, 2005

America has fucked up. America has fucked up BIG.

I have a dream, that one day we can return to an old America. I have a dream that one day, we can return to the America of the 1940’s (minus the racism/KKK and all that stuff). I have a dream, that one day, republicans will be kicked out of the country, and we will be the good guys again. I have a dream that the United States of America will one day, return to our status of being a world leader that fights the good fight and doesn’t attack countries “cuz dey got dem wupens ah mass dystrukshun”. I have a dream today.

I have a dream, that one day, George Dubya Bush will be exposed for the communist that he is. I have a dream that we will kick this retarded son-of-a-bitch out of the country, along with all other republicans. I have a dream that the USA will one day soon, formally apologize for how much we have fucked up since 1959 (when we sent ‘military advisors’ to a little south asian nation called Vietnam). I have a dream that the USA will pay, out of her own pockets, to restore these countries to a state of peace and tranquility that they had before we marched in and flexed our muscles needlessly. I have a dream today.

I have a dream, that the world will forgive this once great nation of our fuckups over the past 50 years. I have a dream that we will one day get our redemption. I have a dream that the US military will no longer be shamed by prison scandals and faulty smart bombs. I have a dream that people around the world will love the US again, and we will be an inspiration and a role model to other countries. However, I unfortunately have a dream, that there will soon be another Bush in office, and he tarnish our reputation once more. God damn republicans.


In conclusion:

Damn you every president since 1959 (especially Dubya)

‘Smart’ Bombs have killed more civilians than dumb bombs have in Iraq. Either we’re targeting neighborhoods, or these ‘smart’ bombs need a lot of work.

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

THE GREATEST PICTURE EVER CREATED IN MS PAINT!

Warning: The pure kickassitude of this picture could permanently damage the brains of anyone who lacks the testicular fortitude to view it. All communists/socialists/die-hard soviets are discouraged from viewing this great masterpiece that took me hours to complete. Here it is…

(Note: If you can’t read it, the dead guy is saying, “No, the flag of the Motherland!”)


I told you! A fucking masterpiece…….

In Conclusion:

I am the best MS Paint Artist in history

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Friday, November 18, 2005

God damnit. Everyone around me is a fucking retard. (with a few exceptions)

It has been such a bad fucking 24 hours for me, because I am, as the title implies, surrounded by fucking retards. (and if you don’t like me using retard as an insult, go fuck yourself). Anyways, we have a quiz in math on Monday. Now, rather that taking it like a man and accepting the fact that the quiz is on Monday, some stupid jock asshole that thinks he knows everything (Jared), a faggy Italian import that pisses everyone off (Tomasso) and the most annoying, most concentrated form of sin and evil in the world (Michael Kattouf) all bitched and complained about the quiz’s date, and basically wasted the entire period. Becasue of those god damn pussy bitches, we missed the entire lesson, and are still expected to know the material for a test next Thursday.

I’m not going to pin that on my teacher, because she’s not that evil. I’m going to pin it on Jerry D. Weast, the superintendent of schools in Montgomery County. This 50-something old balding retarded asshole approved the grading policy which weights and curves everything so that tests and quizzes are 50%, classwork is 20%, graded homework is 10%, and homework is 10% I hate this damn grading policy, because it’s simply not fair. Why should homework only be 10% when overall, homework is more, and harder work than the classwork? (which we never do, so basically 0 points are weighted to be 20% of our grade) It’s just some really confusing shit, and him and his faggy grading policy has given me an urge to kill like I have never felt before.

Speaking of an urge to kill, I felt one yesterday when Pat W. told me, ” The reason you people [black people] will never be president is because noone likes you and you’re ignorant.” Being as how I am black, this pissed me off so much I almost demanded him to show me his testicles so I could crush them beneath my foot. Then I would put them into a blender and grind it into a fine paste and feed it to the rats behind my school. Anyways, when Pat said this, I took off my belt and threatened to literally whip his ass, and then he changed his words to say that it’s “The ignorant white southerners that say that! Black Powa!” That really didn’t help him. The only reason I didn’t smack him is because the head of security in school was nearby, and she’s a total bitch. I’ll get him.

Another thing that made me want to kill yesterday was when the administration of assholes here realized that we had way too much work to do and way too little time to do it. So, rather than lightening the work load, they gave us a free yoga session in the auditorium. YOGA. Why the hell would yoga help us?!? More importantly, only women and guys with mangina do yoga. Real men don’t do yoga. So, no real men went to this yoga thing, and I honestly can’t see it helping anyone, especially guys. It sure would’ve been a hell of a lot more helpful if they just didn’t give us so much work, but no. They gave us yoga. Well, if they’re not going to give us less work, and yoga instead, the least they could do is give the guys something fun, like a trip to the shooting range. Oh wait, I’m sorry. I forgot. Any teenager holding a gun is automatically some fucked up Goth suicidal terrorist in this fucked up country by there name of America.

That’s another thing that pisses me off. You America. FUCK YOU. Fuck you, and your belief that anyone with a gun is a terrorist if they don’t have the US or UK flag somewhere on their person. Fuck you and your President, good ol’ Govna’ Dubya. He’s the one that installed this belief in everyone’s mind that America is perfect, and that everyone else is a terrorist. Honestly, the only think that is keeping me from blowing that bitch’s head right off his shoulders is the fact that:
a) I don’t have a sniper rifle.
b)The CIA will catch and kill me.
c)God damn flip-flop citizens of America will hate me for doing something that they wanted me to do 5 minutes ago

I am so damn filled with rage right now, I must depart now and go play Grand Theft Auto. Oh wait. I’m in school. Shit. Must suppress….urge…to…..KILL! Fading…fading…fading…gone.

In Conclusion:

I am a very angry little 15 year old boy

Don’t call the CIA on me, I’m merely voicing my opinion on Dubya. I have no plans to kill him.

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

If you hate George Bush, gimme a ‘Hell Yeah!’

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Monday, November 14, 2005

Has anyone noticed that most of the good artists are dead?

In my opinion, music nowadays is at best, bad. The top 10 songs on Billboard’s top 100 charts are by:

Kanye West (okay)
Chris Brown (what the hell is a Chris Brown?)
The Black Eyed Peas (I fail to see what’s so damn special about them)
Young Jeezy feat. Akon (His mother should be shot for allowing him to call himself Akon)
Nickelback (A sausagefest with 4 mentally retarded Canadians)
Sean Paul (needs to be hit by a bus for disgracing Reggae music)
Kelly Clarkson (Tone-deaf 2 dollar whore)
T-Pain (Taking black people back 50 years by being a walking, talking stereotype)
Mariah Carey (She’s old and burned out, why won’t she go away?)
Fall Out Boy (god damn emo commie sons of bitches)

All of these people suck. All of their songs suck. Wanna know why they’re so popular? Because stereotypical black people and rich white people listen to this crap non-stop 24-7. All while good artists like Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Bob Marley (all taken from us too soon) are completely ignored, yet they’re responsible for great musical leaps that changed music forever. Example: Jimi Hendrix is the undisputed king of the Guitar. There are things that he could do with his Fender Stratocaster, that even the best guitarists nowadays can’t even come close to doing. Hendrix was the first to succesfully use feedback to fuel his performances and give them that extra-psychodelic feel, and he also perfected Guitar solos with his rendition of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower”, the originals “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)” and “Little Wing”, and of course the stirring version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Woodstock.
Stevie Ray Vaughan is almost single-handedly responsible for reviving the blues from near-death in the 1980’s. Without him, great artists like B.B. King would be forgotten forever, as would the Blues and their soul-stirring lyrics and music. Without Vaughan the blues would’ve simply become a memory in old people’s minds.
And finally Bob Marley. He brought Reggae music to the forefrong to American music (briefly). He made a lot of deserving musicians some money by bringing Reggae to America and wrote some very goodemotional songs such as “One Love”. Nothing pisses me off more than those black rappers that go on about Bob Marley being an influence over them, when they can’t even name a damn song by the man. I am proud to say that I am one of few Bob Marley fans who actually listens to music by Marley. In fact, because of their musical genius, Hendrix and Marley are the only two hippies on this planet that I don’t hate.
So please. Everyone on this little rock called Earth. Stop listening to crap. Throw out Kanye West, Mariah Carey and especially emo crap like Fall Out Boy, and listen to some Hendrix or soemthing actually good for a change. These great men are often overlooked and they haven’t done a damn thing to deserve it.



In conclusion:

At my cousin’s demand, R.I.P Eduardo “Eddie” Guerrero 1967-2005

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Friday, November 11, 2005

God Damn AXE products. Why would someone want to smell like the afterbirth from an old cow?

I remember back in 9th grade, in the boy’s locker room at this shithole called RM, Everyone would always spray that AXE crap all over them and the locker room would always smell like a combination of spoiled milk, dead babies and a retirement home afterwards. Seriously, that shit smells like…well…shit. AXE products smell so damn bad, I hope that one day it is found that when an AXE product makes contact with skin, it can cause exploding cancer of any part of the body. If you spray AXE on your body, then you get cancer, and the tumors WILL explode and kill you.
It’s not only the smell of AXE stuff that pisses me off, it’s also those damn commercials. You know, that one where the plumber pulls out the little red ball and one of those S&M; whips out of the bathtub drain, and the ugly white guy with a small penis just shrugs and softly smiles. And then it goes “How Dirty Boys get Clean. New AXE Shower spray” Every time I see that commercial, I feel like I need to kill someone or something as a chill goes down my spine. It’s no secret that AXE crap only sells because of it’s raw sex appeal, which doesn’t actually exist, because the girls only like it because their boyfriends like it. And all the guys like it because their girlfriends like it! It’s an infinite loop of god damn stupid commies and they all need to die for their crimes against my nose. God damn jock cocksucking assholes and their AXE shit spray.


In conclusion:

AXE sucks ass. It’s basically canned dog shit.

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about the Tome of Communism

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. George W. Bush is a disgrace to not only the United States, but to the entire human race.

This man, if you can call him that (his IQ is so low, he barely deserves to be called a human) is going to fuck up the planet if he doesn’t get impeached, and quick. Seriously, this guy got us into a quagmire of Operation-Barborossa-for-the-Nazis proportions, in a timespan of only 3 years. For doing this, Bush SHOULD be drawn and quartered, being as how he has indirectly murdered:

Between 26,391 and 30,318 Iraqi civilians, (source), 2,058 Americans, 1 Australian, 97 Britons, 13 Bulgarians, 2 Danes, 2 Dutch, 2 Estonians, 1 Hungarian, 26 Italians, 1 Kazakh, 1 Latvian, 17 Poles, 1 Salvadorian, 3 Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, 2 Thai and 18 Ukranians. (source)

And Bush’s apology for all this? A bunch of political jargon that no one can understand. These guys were wrong going into Iraq. They knew it back in 2002 when the issue first came up, and they know it now. And did they care? No. Bush had a damn grudge on Saddam that dated back from the Gulf War in 1990. Also, remember back when the estimated cost of Iraq was $87 Billion? A thing of the past. The current cost is approaching $200 billion and is expected to rise to possibly $600 Billion.

All this talk of heart-stopping costs brings me now to the status of the US economy. This dumbass moron fucked it all up by committing one fatal error that Reagan made: Increase spending, decrease taxes (for those damn richers). As we may or may not know, by doing that, Reagan increased the national debt by $2.5 Trillion Dollars. Hopefully, the same won’t happen with President Dumbass over here.

Before Bush “won” the 2000 election, people around the world actually liked America. But due to his ineptitude, everyone hates us. That god damn stupid idiot retard DICKHEAD COMMIE SON OF A BITCH alienated all our allies and made the rest of the world hate America and Americans. I ask kindly of any people from foreign countries who are not clear on this, PLEASE DO NOT HATE AMERICA AND ALL AMERICANS. JUST THE US GOVERNMENT. After all, it is there fault why the US has gone to hell over the last 5 years. They took a nation that most people looked up to; a nation that was slowly but surely on it’s way to a budget surplus, and threw it into a blender and poured it all down the toilet.

You know, if a superior alien race (in the vein of The Covenant) were to find Earth and judge our fate (sparing our lives or annihilating humanity) on the actions of the most powerful country in the world, we are all seriously fucked. Just fucked right in the ass. Bush would get us all killed, solely because he hates Saddam and wants (even more) money, that he doesn’t need. When Bush dies, I think he will be living right across the street from Reagan down in hell. Reagan will be on 666 Dumbshit Avenue; Bush on 664 Dumbshit.

This man is THE dumbest man on the planet (my testicles have a higher IQ than he does). He is a disgrace to these United States, he is a disgrace to the rest of the world, he is a failure of a father, he has shamed the United States and tarnished what legacy we had left, and he is a murderer. George Walker Bush should be impeached for his crimes against humanity, for being an idiot and for shaming the United States. Once he is impeached, he should be exiled to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, where he will have nothing but the clothes on his back, and he will be forced to die a slow, miserable death of starvation. He will die a sad, lonely, broken and forgotten man, and hopefully he won’t completly ruin the USA before this happens.



In Conclusion:

I Fucking Hate George W. Bush

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

I STILL Fucking Hate George W. Bush

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism. If your friends happen to support Bush, please redirect them to this website.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

God damn math class. A bunch of stupid crap that I will never use in my future career as a fry cook at Mc Donalds

Well, today we learned all about the magical world of using quadratic equations to solve complex number equations, or something like that. To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure how to do this. It’s communism factor was so powerful, it overcame my mind and tried to brainwash me with images of the red father. Anyways, i think that it really is a bunch of bullcrap when teachers say, “Oh, you’ll need this later on if you want to become (insert any job/career here.)” Uh Huh. Bullshit. If someone can name me a job (other than teacher or tutor) where they will need to know how to use quadratic equations to solve complex number equations, I will send you $5 in the mail. I’m serious. (I will only do this once; if 2 people send me jobs that qualify, I will only send the first person money.) I mean, holy crap! Why are we learning this stuff? We’re all going to forget immediately after that year is over! And if we don’t forget it then, we will forget it by the time we go to college. So why learn something if we’re never going to use it in the real world, and if we’re going to forget it all in a couple years?




MATH:

In Conclusion:

The bullshit picture, on it’s original web page.

Math is bullshit

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about the Tome of Communism

Sunday, November 6, 2005

Pep Rallies are just about as pointless as the Blue Angels

The Friday before Halloween happened to be homecoming at my high school, RM, and they forced us to go to a pep rally in the auditorium. After that agonizing 1/2 hour of pubescent jock bastards, dumb-as-a-post stereotypical football players, retarded cheerleaders, and the cancerous wave of screaming loud estrogen that was the senior class, I felt like shaving my ass and shooting myself. The pep rally was not stupid solely because of the aforementioned reasons, oh no. The main reason for the pep rallies stupidity is the fact that RM sucks. All the teams people care about (football and basketball) suck balls. Not just regular balls, either. They suck the balls of the guys from lemonparty (if you don’t know what lemonparty is, google it). And the teams that are actually good (track, cross country, swimming, etc.) no one cares about. So it was basically a bunch of whores screaming for a bunch of dickheads for half an hour, while the good teams got no recognition whatsoever. When it was finally all over, I had a ringing in my ears for about an hour afterwards, and I had an overwhelming urge to kill that I was only able to suppress through GTA: San Andreas once I got home. (15,429 killed and counting…) Anyways, I really hate pep rallies. They’re pointless, stupid, boring, vomit inducing and communist. If I could go back in time, I’d booby trap the stage so that it would collapse once the football team took the stage. God damn football team. God damn jocks! GOD DAMN PEP RALLIES!

In conclusion:

Pep Rallies are a menace to society, and they are killing our children.

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about the Tome of Communism

Friday, November 4, 2005




















Osama Bin Dickhead

By the way, the picture came from here.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Emo bastards: Communism in it’s purest form.

All emo people ever do is bitch and complain about how bad their lives are, and talk about committing suicide. Why talk the talk if they can’t walk the walk? Let’s be honest. Is anybody really going to miss some reclusive, sociopathic emo kid who hates everyone and everything about life? Their parents might miss them, but knowing these hypocrites, they probably don’t even spend, like 5 minutes a week with their parents. Why do they believe all that “life is only darkness, and sadness rains on the fires of your conformist life” bullcrap? Seriously, if any emo person is reading this right now, please, leave a comment and answer the question. Explain to me why someone would believe this crap. You emo people are just as bad as hippies, and Pat W. (see first post) And what’s with them always wearing black everywhere they go? I thought the color to represent death was red. Coincidentally enough, red is also the color to represent communism. So, therefore, using my excellent reasoning, emo people are by default, communist. No one actually enjoys being around some stupid guy who always talks about death and sadness, and constantly wears black coats with black boots, black eyeshadow, all black clothes, and the occasional black nail polish, so I think that those emo bastards would be doing the world a great favor if they all packed their shit up, and got their asses to Mars.

In conclusion:

If you are an emo person, GET YOUR ASS TO MARS!

Listen to Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about the Tome of Communism

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Extreme Sports and Extreme Marketing are the roots of all communism

I simply can’t stand it when I walk into a store and see something like, “XTREME chewing gum!”, or “Fudge cookies, with XTREME fat added, for that XTREME heart blockage!” What exactly makes it so extreme? They taste just the same as the not XTREME ones, so why should I pay an extra dollar for XTREME potato chips? Another thing I hate is extreme sports. I think I heard an extreme sports enthusiast say once,

“Yeah, dude, I totally jumped up in the air and pulled a narly ButtPlug 670, but I totally beefed on the pipe, bro. I shattered my pelvis and I am now crippled from the waist down, but it was all worth it dude! Rad! EXTREME!”

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m black, but I don’t get why someone would want to risk their physical well being to jump up in the air and spin around a couple times. I also fail to see why people find it exciting, “OMGWTFBBQ! He spun around in the air 5 times!” Whoop-de fucking doo. I’d rather have a hernia than go to the X-Games. It’s probably just a bunch of stupid stank-ass hippies screaming “EXTREME” in an attempt to deafen the person next to them. God damn stupid extreme hippies. Why don’t you all take the EXTREME express into EXTREME outer space, and then go fly into the EXTREME black hole so the rest of us will never have to hear your EXTREME selves again.

In Conclusion:

Extreme stuff is extreme bullshit, extremely

Listen to the not-extreme Jimi Hendrix

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism, but don’t tell them it’s extreme.