Monday, April 19, 2010

Amerikitsch

A few weeks ago a dear friend of mine learned that one of his in Long Island was recently rendered homeless and is, in her own words, starving. I suppose I should elaborate and say that these two have never met in person; they happened across one another on Omegle and liked each other enough to stay in touch. This was the first time in some time he had heard from his Omegle Princess and in the moment he was afraid he would never hear from her again. To remedy the problem I proposed we each get dressed, meet outside somewhere, steal a car and drive to New York. Don't pack anything, don't tell anyone we're going, just go. Ditch the car in Manhattan before spending a day to just walk around and absorb the sights. Get some coffee in Greenwich Village, then con our way into a hostel for the short term. Get jobs waiting tables at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant paying just enough for food and to help with rent while we live with my art school friend on the West Side. And eventually we'll have saved up enough money to take the three of us--myself, my friend, and his Omegle Princess--to see the Phantom of the Opera sequel on Broadway.

Now, despite the romantic nature of casting off everything and running to New York, we actually stayed here in Athens to tend to our various dry responsibilities that, at the time, neither of us really liked. Even in Athens, the bastion of knowledge and drugs that I so glorify, I find myself getting so tired of the daily affairs of life. Lately it's really gotten me down how routine and ordinary my life has become. Wake up, trudge to class, go to lunch, trudge back to class, come back to my dorm, dick around online, maybe go get high, come back, sleep. When weed becomes boring, you know you have a problem. I've always had my contentions with the clich but I had never noticed it to such an extent in my own life as I have this past week.

Part of the reason I feel so pulled towards people and places I've never seen in person, I think, is because they still have that element of mystery to them. Face-to-face communication is immensely different than anything the internet (or even the telephone) has to offer and without knowing each other in person there's still a shadowed perspective to the relationship. And this isn't to harsh on my friends in Athens or Rockville; (most of) those people are just as cool. Being part of a culture that still very much looks down on making friends through the internet it's a strange feeling when I find myself more attracted to some multiethnic mutt in North Carolina or a fiery ginger in Texas than the Ohioan I am was supposedly dating. Every time we talk I wonder how much different we would be together if they lived just down the street instead of millions of miles away.

In the grand scheme of things I am happy here, really I am. Athens is a wonderful little city and I know some great people here. I joke around and tell people I'm living a mid-life crisis at 19, but when a significant part of me wants to go be a bohemian New Yorker sometimes I wonder how much I'm actually joking. With one exception my classes range from fairly dull to suicidally inane, I have little to challenge me mentally, and I don't know anymore whether it's more impossible to find a (sane) boyfriend or a job in this pissant pseudoliberal backwater. However, my artsy nerve seems to be attempting a comeback, several of my friends will soon be done with their extracurriculars that have so far kept them out of my life this spring, and in the course of a breakup I found out I am a master troll (that's what the asshole gets for stealing my zippo). Through all of this tumult though there is a solid foundation, a something to fall back on if need be. Thanks for oddly being one of the more stable aspects of my life, internet people.

50 Manifestos:

People in the Sun said...

Hey, you have plenty of time to become a New York bohemian. Is it still New York, though? Or is the cool thing now being a Brooklyn bohemian?

The A.G.B said...

"When weed becomes boring, you know you have a problem."

I believe the correct line is: "When masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lonely."

Nashe^ said...

Thanks to you, too, Wooz!

and Every time we talk I wonder how much different we would be together if they lived just down the street instead of millions of miles away.... I wonder that every day, really.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

you think it's bad now?..wait till you in your 60's..you'll look back on this time and think..."I wish I had appreciated what I did have."...and you'll laugh..trust me

Terra Shield said...

Hmmm... I need some edge to my life as well. The idea of being a NY bohemian is so very appealing right now!

Gadfly said...

The whole Bohemian edgy thing can be a nice spice to life, but when people over do it and really screw the pooch, they wish they had stuck with boring *chuckle*

thimscool said...

Oh, FFS, you're moody. If you're bored, you're boring.

Take better classes. Argue with campus preachers while high. Volunteer to teach reading to adults at the public library. Get a job!

Don't make me come up there and stomp on your nuts, bozo!

secret agent woman said...

I'm just going to focus on the sweet bit at the end.

(and laugh a little at the A.G.B.s Green Day reference.)

long dead gone said...

Unless you crave living in squalor with the likes of V and 10 other budding terrorists for roommates, it's nearly impossible to be a broke bohemian in NYC these days. A stroll down Bleecker Street will take you past Ralph Lauren and a line of assholes waiting to buy $5.00 cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery. The ghosts of Kerouac and Ginsberg are back in their graves, rolling over.

When Whole Foods and Howard Johnson Express hit the LES, that was done, too.

DUMBO is amusing, for maybe an evening, but anything cool about this stupid city has long been destroyed. Suffocating under overpriced mediocrity is the American way.

Omar said...

Manhattan still smell like pee, though. That's gotta count for something.

Omar said...

smells

unokhan said...

u rock my world, bebe man, and help explain away demons

V said...

i know youre going through the Catcher-in-the-rye phase but unless you get a semi-decent job here, it's not worth it. NYC is very expensive. There are rooms that can go for $400/month or studios that are about 1000-1100/month but i don't think it's a friendly neighborhood, especially to your kind. They are the kind of neighborhoods where a homosexual gets bullied and eventually beaten to a bloody mess. Next morning appearing in the front page papers.

Why don't you serve a good purpose and go back to one of your varied ethnic backgrounds and go help Africa or something. Become a journalist abroad and report the grave injustices caused by the neoliberal agenda, stop giving your talent to an imperialist nation. That's what i'm planning to do, in fact next month i'm leaving to my home country to fix some paper work before settling there for good by December.

Patria o Muerte!

-V

long dead gone said...

THANK YOU JESUS!

Raspootin said...

though between "V" and Leslie it was a perfect ending of a thread - Raspootin has to say:

the meaning of LOL

has never meant as much - thanks to you both :) and omar

ps good post Woozie but the comments were priceless.

"one of your kind"

sorry - and

"New York still smells like pee"

"Thank you Jesus"

long dead gone said...

V, I'm just noticing what a tiny, hairy little cub you are! You better stay out of Tryon Park after dark.

.
Let me say, at the risk of seeming ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love. ~Che "Boom Boom" Guevara

unokhan said...

oh no u don't lesley. that paradox is too EZ. joan baez used to get it all the time -- "but miss baez, what would you, a pacifist, do if someone was about to throw your grandmother over a cliff and your only option was to shoot them etc" etc etc blah blah

long dead gone said...

Perhaps you're right.

V,
Click here for pics of hot chicks who want to sleep with sexy Ecuadorian boys who hyphenate Catcher in the Rye.

thimscool said...

Hahahahaha. Nailed him with a strap-on, Leslie!

"definite tumescence"

unokhan said...

ain't funny, you semi-religious thimsfool. there are some spiritual fates worse than being gay and shrilly homophobic but at the moment i can't remember what they are. o wait, u dinnit need that pointed out, huh

unokhan said...

and kudos to the author for 'amerikitsch'

we r so fukt

thimscool said...

It's pretty funny, uni-ball.

And I am not at all religious.

Omar said...

Keep moving, keep pressure on the enemy. Pressure on the wound.

BBC said...

When weed becomes boring, you know you have a problem.

I wouldn't know about that, never got into weed myself. But I'll admit that beer is getting sort of boring and I'm drinking less of it, maybe I'll switch to orange juice.

Fuck big cities and perceived neat shit, you need to go camping in the mountains.

Don't forget to take a fishing pole.

BBC said...

When masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lonely."

A good eighty dollar pocket pussy perks you right up after bullshitting with some sexy gal that you're not going home with.

unokhan said...

"Keep moving, keep pressure on the enemy"

o mary, that somewhat truncated formula is zacklee how the vietnamese defeated first the french, then the japanese, the french again, and finally rome

thank u 4 being sane

thimscool said...

Hey, who said that Omar? Was it really Charlie?

Just because I've been known to hang out with religious folks does not make me one...

...and if it did, then you're one too.

How're the lobster in Nova Scotia this time of year?

BBC said...

thank u 4 being sane.

Hahahahahaha

BBC said...

If the little fucker was sane he would be making bombs, in which case others would accuse him of being insane.

We're all fucking insane, get the fuck over it.

long dead gone said...

...and I would just love to hear V's thoughts on this little incident.

Patria o Muerte! fer realz.

What would Joan Baez do?

Omar said...

Well then, what exactly does the comment mean when it's made on an 'End of Days' evangelical Christian's blog? Were you waving a flag of support or poking fun at the blog owner? Knowing you as I do, I tend to favour the former. AND, if "I'm one too" how did it come to pass that I got banned from the blog in question?

Omar said...

Oh, and the lobster is always good here, but for me the quality depends on the area where landed. Personally, I prefer St. Mary's Bay lobster trapped in and around Digby. Halifax harbour lobster? Not so much.

thimscool said...

Apparently you think that believing in God andspeaking words of support to a Christian makes me Christian... I don't see it that way.

I just got off the phone with a friend and business associate who is Muslim... I made some comment about God willing... Does that make me Muslim?

Religion is just a club to hit folk on the head. I wouldn't belong to any club that would accept me as a member.

Leslie, that was definitely not funny; I get the point. It seems less serious when V is running his yap around here, but maybe he is actually behaving out of genuine fear...

thimscool said...

I pig a Digby!

unokhan said...

haha, u can say what u like, but this has become a somewhat lovable rogues gallery of world-weary misfits, intellectuals, and ne'er-do-wells.

and assholes

BBC said...

I just got off the phone with a friend and business associate who is Muslim... I made some comment about God willing... Does that make me Muslim?

Of course not, it just makes you an idiot.

Anonymous said...

what do you do leslie, sit on the chair all day searching all things V? My background, my looks, views?

Didn't you build a page solely for that purpose already?

i'm too busy with that page they call facebook and the x, blah

-V

thimscool said...

You're all about the lovable assholes, aren't you, Uno?

long dead gone said...

You're always such a bold little mutt, V, until your nose gets shoved in your own shit. Then you run and hide under the sofa.

anyway...

Amelie said...

I love yous and I love this post. It was so beautifully written. I still stand by my invite. You're welcome here anytime :)

BBC said...

You're always such a bold little mutt, V, until your nose gets shoved in your own shit. Then you run and hide under the sofa.

She has no right to say that considering that you can't even visit her fucking blog, or lack of one.

She claims she has nice tits, but I have no proof of it.

long dead gone said...

I know what you mean. You claim to be an enlightened and spiritual being on a path to teach us all something, but I've only seen proof that you're a total fucking dumbass whose best friend is a plastic vagina.

Omar said...

I have not heard this claim of, "nice tits". Can we maybe get a confirmation on that, Leslie? I'd like to hear about your thighs as well. You know, if you don't mind..

unokhan said...

"creamy thighs"........like maytag bleu on toasted white bread without butter --yes, there's a mycological element there

long dead gone said...

That's right, Uno, and the effect is similar to psilocybin.

Omar, go ask Alice. I think she'll know.














Fuckers.

thimscool said...

BOOBQUAKE!

Big Ben said...

Everyone's life is boring, just set yourself up in life so you can afford sweet vacations.

I suggest moving to Toronto, good gay scene, most multi-ethnic city in North America (if not the world) and a hell of a lot cheaper to live in than New York.

Omar said...

AND you're not really into sports. T.O. -- WORST. SPORTS. TOWN. EVER.

unokhan said...

do not let mary distract you from the calgary stampede, where cowboys, fascism, beef, and canukistani oil money converge yearly for a glorious celebration of fuckyeah

Omar said...

That place joined
Jesusland
many moons ago. Visit at your own risk.

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