Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Seems people in America can’t shut the fuck up about health care these days, and for good reason. America’s the only industrialized nation without some form of widely available socialized (yes I said socialized, no that does not mean I’m a Soviet agent) health care system, and the privatized one we currently have is a pile of shit for most people. Premiums are suffocatingly expensive, and maybe if we found a way to lower those then people living in shacks in the mountains with unstable mindsets, a plastic vagina collection, and internet access could get the help they need instead of trolling the blogs of people several decades younger than them. Every day some senator somewhere hosts a “town hall” where they pretend to listen to the gripes of their constituents for a little bit, and laugh at the occasional riley audience member who has to be escorted out by the police.
Speaking of people who need to be escorted out by the police, Sarah Palin has reared her cancerous head yet again to chime in on the current health care shitstorm. Earlier, on her official facebook page, she claimed that Obamacare contains plans for “death panels” packed with “his bureaucrats [who] decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether [people] are worthy of health care.” In a vain attempt to inspire her defective base to action, she said ‘the America she knows and loves’ wouldn’t submit to Obama’s health care Gestapo that would almost certainly sentence people like her grandparents or her Down Syndrome baby to death by refusing coverage. What Palin fails to realize because of her moderate affluence and massive stupidity, however, is that such death panels already exist. Every day health insurance companies measure whether or not it’s beneficial to their bottom line to pay for someone’s operation. And if it’s too expensive your mother to get that liver transplant she needs, Blue Cross Blue Shield might send you some nice flowers in condolence if you’re lucky. So long as they don’t lose money on the blue dye for the roses.
But the Obama administration, internet-savvy motherfuckers they are, remain a step ahead of Sarah Palin and her army of sociopolitical rejects. The administration wants you the people to help cut through all the bullshit, all the lies and half-truths perpetrated by opponents of Obama’s will by forwarding anything that “seems fishy” to firstname.lastname@example.org. Before you go and report your Republican neighbors to the Thought Police though, bear in mind that in addition to their contact info the administration will also get yours. If the endless texts sent to those of us who wanted to know who his VP pick was as well as the usual Constitutional fidelity of the Office of the President are any indication, the White House will take their own liberties with yours after they’re done with your fellow Americans. Gruppenf hrer M ller would no doubt see shades of himself in Obama today.