it was like rectangle

Saturday, December 5, 2009

“It Was Like a Rectangle!”

(And no, I’m not talking about the Washington Monument)

When I’m in Rockville, one of the things I frequently bitch about is that there’s nobody to hang out with and thus not much of anything to do. Once I started college I lost contact with a lot of friends from high school, and when I did come home I found myself missing their company, but (with a few exceptions) I didn’t find myself missing them. Who wants to get lunch or see a movie alone? In between eating a sandwich I really should have gotten mayonnaise on and sharing stories of unfortunate sexual experiences, that was how I explained my gross excess of free time to our friend BB BB on the steps of a Baptist church in downtown D.C.

We talked about BB’s (real name Adrian Monk, no relation) childhood in Soviet Arabia being raised by American expat parents in Riyadh, the capital city. He told me he came to the states in the summer of 2001 when his father had a strange feeling that shit in the middle east was about to hit the fan. While in his native sand country, Adrian developed a strange affinity for an n-word: nutmeg. Once he got to America, the boy (it feels weird calling someone older than me “boy”) developed a strange distaste for Uncut. As far as magazines go they have decent articles, in my opinion. When he asked me to keep all the newly uncovered details of his life private, I told him I’d just make up something fantastic for the blog.

But the above paragraph of bullshit does go to show you the far reaching nature of our conversation; I was out with him for a good 3 1/2 hours or so and things never really got stale. Anybody who talks about gay sex at the front door of a Baptist church is a friend of mine. We would have discussed sodomy at the back door (har har) but one of D.C.’s homeless was occupying that stoop. According to our friend BB the homeless in DC have a special glow about them. They may be homeless but dammit they’re the most ironic homeless people in the world. Citizens of the capital city of the richest, most powerful nation in history and they don’t have a roof over their heads.

We went down to the National Mall where, surprisingly, the actual grass was closed to the public because they were “refurbishing” it. In December (for the record, it’s snowing today). I found a nice metro exhaust vent to stand on top of but eventually we got moving down towards the Washington Monument, whose mammoth size up close I forgot about, and the White House which is surprisingly small in person. I’ve lived in the area almost all my life and I’ve never been to a lot of the monuments so to an extent I was as much a stranger to them as he. However, he is not a stranger to love distasteful photos. ‘Flying into the White House’? “Too soon,” I said. He retorts, “it’s been eight years.” The boy’s got a good (and hairy) head on his shoulders.

13
Manifestos:


Omar
said…

That's a guy in that photo?

Yeesh.


unokhan
said…

bout time yall met — it's been a hella year or 2. you both have an endearing streak of reticence combined with a longing to be free


eccentric recluse
said…

pretty interesting post. bet you can't get this depth of understanding on facebook…..


eccentric recluse
said…

I don't really understand the thing about refurbishing the grass tho, how does the NFL do it?


BBC
said…

When I'm in Rockville, one of the things I frequently bitch about is that there's nobody to hang out with and thus not much of anything to do.

I don't have a fucking clue what you mean. I've been many places and have never been bored or there wasn't someone new interesting to talk to.

Boy, you need to get out more and learn how to open up to and relate to others. Or at least start talking to strangers.

I'll start a conversation with any idiot around me.


Carlos
said…

"…sodomy at the back door…" har har is right!

Freak. 😉

Yous twos youts got pretty good heads on ya shoulduhs, fah as I can tell.


unokhan
said…

ok i'll bite. what was like a rectangle


Omar
said…

And as a follow-up: Would a piece of lumber of such shape be a delight or a detriment?


Woozie
said…

Omar: Not a fan of flowing manes, huh? I bet it would keep him warm in the Great White North.

Uno: Is it bad that I had to look up reticence?

ER: Well at the very least it would take a lot longer. And it's not like we've formed a lifelong bond or anything like that, just pleasantly enjoyed each other's company.

And I don't understand it either, at least with the fields that still use actual grass. Most of it's fake.

BBC: Turning to a stranger at the bus stop and going "Hi, my name's Bobby, what's yours?" is how people wind up at a hospital being treated for mace in their eyes. At least that's how it works here.

Carlos: You can;t tell me it wouldn't have been a perfect setting!

Uno: An inside joke 😛

Omar: I actually prefer rectangular pieces of wood the throw on the fire. They always seemed easier to handle to me. I don't know about delight, but it's certainly not a detriment.


dmarks
said…

Speaking of "It Was Like a Rectangle!", does your blogger ID have to do with the Woozy, which is a dog-like animal made of boxes?


secret agent woman
said…

I can't believe you didn't recognize me by my current blog identity. sniff

But very cool. I have only met a couple of fellow bloggers so far, and one of them was our absent friend Kiyotoe.


unokhan
said…

coy smirking is not charming

[cue up: "coy smirking? i went to school with him, yah he was a jerk"]


Woozie
said…

dmarks: Can animals be made of boxes? To answer your question, no, it's a GTA San Andreas reference that stuck around even after people here learned my real name some time ago.

seesaw: Hey now, you were that other identity for so long! And I did realize who you were once he dropped the name of your blog! Kiyotoe may be absent, but I am absent-minded (sometimes).

uno: What has being charming ever gotten me? Not a damn thing, that's what.