laid waste

Friday, January 30, 2009

Laid Waste

I’m on some sort of scooter, a vespa or something, and on my way back to the house in Rockville coming off the highway I zoom past my dad, also on one of those scooters. I come flying over the bridge, brake hard, but still make the turn onto my street at a good 40 mph. I wind up rocketing down the street at 60 mph but realize I’m going way too fast to be comfortable (damn the police), so I try to slow down. I try a whole bunch of unorthodox methods to slow down, including squeezing my penis, before it dawns on me to sit up straight and ease off the accelerator.

I get to the bottom of a hill and veer into someone’s front yard. It’s dark. Tungsten lights bathe everything in a heavy orange glow, except the purple skies. There’s a series of trees in my path and I go to the right of the first and second ones, and then in between the second and third to get back on the road where I slow to practically a crawl. Home is about 100 yards away.

Then a gray Ford van suddenly appears behind me and to my right. It slides its side door open and the passenger door pops open as well. It stops, I stop. An average-height man with no hair on his head except for a beard, in a white t-shirt and gray pants hops out. He doesn’t say anything but something about the way he carries himself says that he doesn’t mean well. Maybe it’s the piercing eyes and the suspicious grin. I scream.

I ditch my scooter and run to a nearby parked car as my dad pulls up behind the van and rolls right by the man, and me and the car, before stopping and getting off where I can’t see him. He gestures, but doesn’t say anything. I hide behind the car tire and dial 911 on a phone that’s not mine. The man goes after him, with the eyes and the smile. I don’t hear or see anything to the effect but I know my dad is now dead. The phone line goes dead. I don’t hear or see anything but I know the man turns his attention to me. And I wake up.

21
Manifestos:


Mr. Shife
said…

Did you scream like a girl, a Laotian dwarf, or a Wookie? I need to know this stuff.


Woozie
said…

Like a girl with throat cancer or something, it was really weird.


unokhan
said…

one day humans will be able to choose before bedtime the dreams they will have that night. they will also be able to record them like a movie and experience them the next day. i don’t know how this will work but it will definitely happen.

my choice would be plotless dreams of levitation and effortless flight. but some folx –daredevils, maniacs, the sort of children who love rollercoasters– will frequently choose some horrific and awesome nightmares. for the lulz.


Omar
said…

You’re a little big for a scooter, ain’t ya? Must have looked like one of them circus bears.


Omar
said…

Where is my lemon flavoured dick?!


Woozie
said…

Uno: That would suck all the magic out of them if you knew what was coming. It’s like popping in Sgt. Pepper’s and skipping right to A Day In The Life, if I may be such a faggot.

I hate rollercoasters, they suck donkey dick. But the weird thing about this dream was that it didn’t feel very nightmareish; I didn’t wake up with my heart on the floor and a pool of sweat so large and pungent I though I pissed the bed.

Omar: lol, and more lol

You’re pretty on top of your game.


Raspootin
said…

to quote a recent comment:

“bad white wine” wooz 🙂

I think the government is spraying chemicals and giving people with active imaginations weird dreams.


Beelzebub
said…

“including squeezing my penis”- oh, you silly boyz.

And unokhan and Raspootin’s comments reminded me of that episode of Futurama where they broadcast commercials into people’s dreams. At least you didn’t get an awkward product placement when you realized you were gonna die.


DoctorBoogaloo
said…

I’m pretty sure the scooter represents a cigar. The bridge and the tungsten lights are self explanatory. The trees are more cigars.

The bald guy is a revenuer. Or God. It’s hard to tell. (But your scream tells me I’m on to something.)

The guy who looks like your dad is really Samuel L. Jackson. (Although the absence of snakes makes me wonder.)

I hope this helps.


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

ahhh nightmares. Poo to them.

The other night I had a dream this man was waiting in a car in the drive-way for me. All I could see was this dark figure.

I kept trying to call 911 but it was impossible!! I kept dialing the wrong number.. and then when I finally dialed… this lady picked up and told me I got the wrong number. :S


billy pilgrim
said…

jesus has sent you a message.

get your mom’s credit card and buy a scooter asap.


unokhan
said…
This post has been removed by the author.

yellowdog granny
said…

see what happens when you play with your dick? mothers know these things.


BBC
said…

It was just a fucking dream, your brain playing with itself without you controlling it.

Let it play and then move on to taking care of your life. If you don’t, you are fucked.

I set my brain free to play all the time, I can do that when wide awake.

Never mind, don’t expect you to understand.


unokhan
said…
This post has been removed by the author.

Raspootin
said…

fuucikuty fuccccccccccckity

I was apologzing for not being able to do ” a href ” all i can say @this point as blogger comments would not let me proceed with my example or the site it came from

Dreamscapes.com

Scooter
To see or ride a scooter in your dream, suggests that you are enjoying your position of power.

Death
To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.

All about me now:

I have dreamed of being electrocuted in my bath tub by a small Tv for the past 4 days. I promise you, not for any amount of money would I lay in my club foot tub; even though this might explain Im not sure …

To dream of your own death
indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.


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Nashe^
said…

That reminded me of the time I sat on my skateboard and rolled down a hill. Awesome shit, and I didn’t scream like a boy.

Yes, I really did own a skateboard.


Terra Shield
said…

Another site you can refer to (if you’re interested, that is) http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/


billy pilgrim
said…

delete this

ha ha ha!


Josh
said…

At least you didn’t dream of riding a Segway.


just me
said…

Well, that scared the shit out of me! Baby doll, they call those things nightmares!!