lies and deceit

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Lies and Deceit

Remember how I told you that I was going to resume regular posting again? Okay, now remember how I told you that last Wednesday? Yeah. The title of that previous post is now suddenly clear as day, isn’t it?

As is becoming custom, my free time (and to a lesser extent my will to write) was consumed by other matters for the past half week. After he hit me in the temple with a drumstick I gang raped a man in the parking lot of the Center for Spiritual Growth and Social Justice, I made a moderately poor life choice related to Apples to Apples and Coors Light, fell asleep with another man in a third person’s bed (she was away for the weekend), spent an entire day on my ass playing Fallout 3 (finally), and spent all of last night with a gallon of purple drink that, at some point in the night, had something other than sugar, water, and purple added to it. Long story short I wound up kissing someone I’m not sure if I regret kissing or not*, but at that moment I enjoyed it and so did everyone else at the party. Leave it to me to bring the gay.

So, as I start studying for my exams (all of which are tomorrow), get ready for a day trip on Tuesday, and think up some posts for Wednesday through Saturday I ask, how was your week?

57
Manifestos:


Woozie
said…

For anyone wondering the story behind the photograph, last summer or so someone living in D.C. saw this outside their window. Basically it’s a crackhead (the white guy) taking it in the ass from his dealer (the black guy) in exchange for some crack. In full public view. On an innocent victim’s stoop. I have the entire set, if anyone’s interested. The last picture is especially priceless.

*No, they did not have herpes.


Omar
said…

I’m thinking you may need to reach out and grasp a Canadian and Australian hand (yet) again to help your arse make it through these times of sporadic postings. Not to worry though, the glorious Commonwealth is used to bailing out American dodginess.


whatigotsofar
said…

Fallout 3, really? I tried that one. Bored stupid after 30 minutes of nothing happening.


Woozie
said…

Stand by for duty, comrades.


Woozie
said…

WIGSF, somebody obviously doesn’t have the patience for an excellent RPG. I kind of felt more predisposed to it because I loved Oblivion, though.

In short, you need to be patient before taking on a Bethesda game.


unokhan
said…

send. now.


Imperad r Hasem rder
said…

Apples to apples
and
Crack to crack


citizen of the world
said…

I’m kind of sorry you told the story behind the photo.

So, yeah, you’re drinking purple jesus now? (aka hunch punch at the college I went to.) Dangerous stuff, Wooz.


A.G.B
said…

You need to come back to the Internet! No one else will comment on my blog but you.

By the way, I wish I lived in the city. You don’t see gay-interracial sex in exchange for drugs enough in the suburbs.


Omar
said…

oops, forgot to mention reaching out for a certain southern rabbit’s foot to assist in keeping the Tome afloat in your hour of need.


Woozie
said…

Uno: Send…what. Nouns negro, learn to use em. Or you could check your email cause I might have already sent whatever this is to you.

IH: Well played.

Citizen: I hope you weren’t eating dinner or admiring humanity’s proudest moments.

I don;t know if I’d go as far as to call it jungle juice (that’s what they call it in Athens, don’t know about elsewhere). I only found out about the additive, whatever it was, after I chugged what I thought was just regular purple drink for about 45 seconds.

It tasted kind of funny, I smelled it, and, well, you know. Didn’t touch it again for the rest of the night, mostly because I was jammed full of starchy foods. It was a pot luck. I was a victim of circumstance; I didn’t knowingly drink it.

Alec: What can I say, I am a terrible person.

Omar: Uno?


Woozie
said…

Oh, NOW I see what you meant by “send now”. Christ on a stick I’m none too bright.


Omar
said…

The hare murderer, Gumby! Sheesh, you need assistance quicker then I initially thought!


Omar
said…

You said it first!


Woozie
said…

Yeah but there I was joking.


Omar
said…

And of course I was deadly serious.

Draft me soon, I have an important message to get out regarding why young gay men need to boycott Walmart and shop at The Gap.


Josh
said…

I need DETAILS boy, spill it


Woozie
said…

That’s what MSN is for, Josh.


unokhan
said…

jeezus jones, what izzit with crack?

lol @ the hesitated asterisk…tres hendrix

kick some ass 2morrow or don’t show yer arse around here no mo.

talkin A’s.


paz y amor
said…

Why kiss and have regrets? Do what you do and enjoy the moment…like the crack dealer in your pic…


Nashe^
said…

I didn’t know there were such ass-crack deals. And I like the sound of “glorious Commonwealth”.

It’s Monday here already. Good luck for your exams, Wu.


Anne
said…

Oh my. Your life is starting to sound like a bad frat movie. Not much longer now, I imagine, before your daddy is quite surprised to find you with the working girls in the county jail. :p


Anne
said…

Oh my. Your life is starting to sound like a bad frat movie. Not much longer now, I imagine, before your daddy is quite surprised to find you with the working girls in the county jail. :p


Anne
said…

Oops, I didn’t mean to repeat myself. I seem to be having some sort of malfunction.


Orhan Kahn
said…

War..war never changes.


Terra Shield
said…

So, as I start studying for my exams (all of which are tomorrow) Gotta hate that… more than one exam a day is a bummer, especially if each paper lasts about 3 hours!

Oh, good luck!


Carlos
said…

There’s nothing quite like a one-man gang rape to get the one in the mood for love.


leslie
said…

I’m having a really bad reaction to that pic (and the rest of the collection). I reacted just as badly to finding a plastic hurricane cup tucked under the thriving rosemary in my sidewalk nola planter. Keep your diaper fucking and poor taste in mixed drinks off my property.

The sooner human beings are annihilated, the better.

And thanks to whichever anonymous blog poet sent me this winner overnight:

Fold two hands together,
And express a dash of sorrow,
Marinate it overnight,
And work on it tomorrow.

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces,
Add several cups of love,
Dredge with a large sized smile,
And mix the ingredients above.

Dissolve the hate within you,
By doing a very good deed,
Dash in some help for any friend,
If they should be in need.

Stir in laughter, love and kindness,
From the heart it has to come,
Mix with genuine forgiveness,
And give your neighbour some.

The amount of people you can serve,
From the recipe above,
Is in the quality of its ingredients,
And unlimited amounts of love.


Gadfly
said…

“I have the entire set”

If there were a couple of really clear grimace shots Cracky’s face, it would be a useful anti-drug teaching tool for high school kids *laughing*

A proud moment for humanity indeed.


unokhan
said…

okay, somebody* is gonna haftoo explain the diaper to me






*that would be you, omar


Omar
said…

Why is it my responsibility to dissect what Die Hexe von Bourbon Street has to say? Ask BBC. I think the two have more in common than the young lady doth protest.


leslie
said…

Seriously, how many collective kilos of weed are smoked on this blog? The white dude in the photo is wearing the diaper, Omar. I do not wear diapers. The bigger question might be why Uno thinks you’re the leading authority on Depends.


BBC and I have TONS in common, only he’s rude and grumpy and thinks he’s smarter than everyone.


leslie
said…

Oh, I can explain it though, in no uncertain terms:

Disgusting crackheads who take it in the ass for a hit on the pipe frequently experience an inability to hold their bowels.

Sorry, Thimscool. I cleaned it up as much as possible. Here’s a pretty picture, if that helps.


Omar
said…

Good point. Back to you, Uno..

In my defense, I seldom give the comments their more than worthy due attention and blog photos I give even less..


leslie
said…

K, don’t go
HERE then, unless you want to know why Americans <3 guns.


Omar
said…

Shooting those who suffer from illness isn’t exactly progressive. I don’t think you’d make a very good social worker.


leslie
said…

Finally you have said something accurate about me. FINALLY. I would make a god-awful social worker.

I don’t happen to believe addiction is any more an illness than chronic shoe shopping. Doctors and psychologists be damned. I should sub for Dr. Phil.

Coping skills, self-control….thumbs up.

For the record I am fine with outdoor sex.


unokhan
said…

i just learned about one guy, one cup. by comparison the diaper, which a few minutes ago had seemed iconically depraved, seems now a hallmark of gentility.

i need to go home and lie down.


Omar
said…

Pamper-up if yer gonna have a few before nap time. It will be more pleasant deleting comments after midnight if your soft and dry..


Life Hiker
said…

Sorry, Woozie, but I’ve got to say goodbye for awhile. You’ve gone over the edge, which I suppose is par for the course for freshmen.

I’ll check back sometime next year, if you’re still capable of posting. In the meantime, take care of yourself.


Omar
said…

I suppose one could draw “going over the edge” parallels to your being a god fearing, former 101st Airborne officer, golf nut.


thimscool
said…

Way to crap on the floor and make like a tree, Life Hiker!

Usually, when someone intends to abandon a struggling friend, they just leave quietly and stop answering hails.

Or, perhaps, they confront the person and tell them to get their act together.

But you just announce your disgust and promise to rubberneck in the indeterminate future. That’s classy.

Way to contribute.


thimscool
said…

Woozie, he’s got a point, tho.

Looking over the last few posts, I’m a bit worried about you.


unokhan
said…

these clueless old farts r pre-alzheimers simpletons, the lot of em. o wait, what were yer grades from last quarter, i can’t recall


unokhan
said…

btw thims, that’s gotta be one o the swiftest contradixions in the history of neurotic self-doubt.


Woozie
said…

I love and hate you sons of bitches. Can’t decide if mostly hate or mostly love.


leslie
said…

oh wait…psychologists ARE doctors, innit?


leslie
said…

Why have you selfish people been hiding Life Hiker from me???


Anne
said…

You know you love me, Wooze. 😉


unokhan
said…

what the fuck ever


slopmaster
said…

OMG on the story for the photo.

and you are the crazy gay guy at the party. awesome, there’s always one.


thimscool
said…

Uno, you only say that because you got stooooopid drunk on da cab.

There is no contradiction, doofus.


Omar
said…

Ladies please, we have young Booby’s well being to be concerned with here. Although having said that, I am not concerned at all because, gay or straight, boys will be boys. Now, let Uncle Omar roll one up and together, we shall make the peace!


unokhan
said…

i got bad stoopid on cab night before last, and perhaps the night b4 that. last night my mind was a veritable beacon of clarity –you could probably see it flashing in the distance, provided you could raise your head.

mary, i want to try da crack. how could anything be that good.


Omar
said…

I’d love to be able to sanctimoniously say, “I’ve never smoked crack”, but alas that would be a lie. I tried it several times back in the early 90s and was extremely disappointed. If you enjoy major league teeth grinding, acute paranoia and migraine headaches from hell then it just may be your cuppa tea. Otherwise I certainly wouldn’t recommend. Those unfortunates who find themselves addicted are definitely wallowing in the depths of illness regardless of what some conservatives may say. Unlike shopping for shoes, they don’t do it cuz they enjoy it.


leslie
said…

Illness yes, disease, no. Better?

PS, I’ve never smoked crack.


Big Ben
said…

Since you have got to college your posts seems to about what you are drinking and what man you are molesting. Good times.