pabst yellow ribbon

Monday, October 13, 2008

Pabst Yellow Ribbon

Saturday night we had a grilled cheese sale (somewhat) scheduled on Court St (basically Main Street) in front of the courthouse, since it was Dance or Die night. Nothing refreshes dehydrated dancers like hot sandwiches. Only problem was that there were already three tables set up (one of them even had music!), we couldn’t find outlets anywhere else, and the three tables that were out there weren’t making much money anyway.

So with the Saturday sale shitcanned, Nick (you may know him as delicious PR/Promo guy) decided it was time to get shitfaced instead. Drown the sorrows of our–his–miserable failure. When in Athens, do as the Athenians do.

So I tagged along; after a 20 minute walk or so we found ourselves at a small little get together, nothing too crazy. Certainly no frat parties, the general consensus was that frat parties are boring and/or stupid. Only after arriving did I learn we missed a moderately epic shotgunning incident with someone talking on and on about how they can shotgun all these cans, and this other guy, let’s call him Spencer, just snatches the can out of his hand and does it. Showing up a punk, that I would have loved to see.

Shortly after showing up a can of a certain carbonated beverage made its way into my hands. This carbonated beverage was of the variety that I had not sampled in literally years; my last experience with it was none too pleasant on a gustatory level. Suffice it to say the unpleasantness showed itself again, the cheap variety of said carbonated beverages is rarely delicious.

After downing my one and only can of bootysweat I left with some cool people; we walked around and wound up at one of their rooms on campus. We watched the food network, spied on people’s iTunes libraries, and talked about running over the homeless with Bentleys and throwing cash out the window at their corpses. All in all a good night. Especially considering I failed my art history midterm the day before (you said you wanted to know Uno). Do you people know anything about the Treasury of Atreus? Neither did I.

43
Manifestos:


People in the Sun
said…

The treasury of Atreus is an impressive “tholos” tomb at Mycenae, Greece (on the Panagitsa Hill) constructed around 1250 BCE. Everyone knows that.


Woozie
said…

Suck a lemon flavored dick.


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

Aw its ok I’m gonna fail accounting on Wednesday 🙂


Woozie
said…

Buena suerte


Raspootin
said…

Perhaps the teacher will grade on a bell curve? Of course there is always that one person that break the curve.

Freshman year is more about the experience than the education.

At least that was how it was for me.


Woozie
said…

I’m not really concerned about my failure; there are tons of extra credit opportunities in that class. There’s even one tonight. Some experimental music and dance thing I have to write a half page summary of.


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

I shall need al the buena suerte I can get. Also with the macro and stats exams I have a few days after that.


Omar
said…

Not really concerned about your failure?

oy vey


Omar
said…

When you return from kkklass later in the day, please to enjoy this. Cuz at the end of a hard day, is there really anything better then having Mick Jagger prance around in American football gear? Surely there is not!


Anonymous
said…

I’m glad to hear that you won’t drink just to drink. Once again, you make me proud. There is a huge difference between cheap carbonated beverages and the good stuff.

And what’s up with that art test question?! Tell your teacher he/she should use his/her powers for good instead of evil.

Anne


Gadfly
said…

Gee … it’s almost as if someone should have read the material instead of blogging like a mad bastard.

And for the record, no, I hadn’t heard of it — but I bet it’s somewhere in your text book in bold fucking print, slacker!

(yeah, like I’m earning my pay right now 😉


unokhan
said…

cheap beverages are, next to horny instructors, a student’s best friend.


thimscool
said…

Your mother and I are very disappointed in you.

Take the pillow from your head, and put a book in it!


Woozie
said…

Svetlana: Shit girl, you need some hugs. And a can of Pabst Yellow Ribbon.

Omar: Hush nigga, why be concerned when there’s nothing I can do about it now?

You know, when he first came on stage I thought he wasn’t wearing any pants. I almost had to reach for a bag.

Anne: Lucky for my liver I don’t think the good stuff will be very prevalent at college parties.

G: Gee…it’s almost as if someone should have been shutting the fuck up rather than imagining they were the center of attention.

Uno: You forgot free pizza and glory holes.


unokhan
said…

o u po amateur. peeetzas, blow jobs, moveez and beverages –like good grades– have their origins in horny instructors.

friend o mine fukt her instructor in ethix (yes) for her final — he gave her a B — she said goddam i was definitely worth an A


Josh
said…

I happen to know a pretty good authority on art, and even he didn’t know what that Atreus shit is, so it mustn’t have been that important. I think your instructor was probably just being an asshat.


Dotsson
said…

Yo Gaddy has a point man. How the fuck do you have all this time to post this shit everyday?
Do your parents pay tuition so you can dick around on this blog here?


Woozie
said…

Thimscool: Maybe you’d like to share the lemon cock with Sunshine?

Uno: Well take comfort in knowing that as soon as I pleasure my way to an A, you will be the first to know. My ethics class this time out isn’t enough of a challenge to consider improving my grade with some one-on-one oral practice after class.

Josh: Well aren’t we cunty this evening? That sore throat leave you with sand in your dickhole?

I can’t really be too mad at her. Apparently it was in some section of the book we were supposed to read. I don’t even have the book.

Dotsson: Did you just call him Gaddy? Shit, you’re gayer than me.

Your intense faggotry outshined anything else you had to say in that comment so I’m afraid all I heard was “Hi I’m Dotsson and if you’re in NYC I’ll smoke your cock for $0.50.”


Dotsson
said…

Is Gadozie less faggoty faggot?

Bitch come down to NYC and blow you for free. Muslims love to “blow” things 😉


thimscool
said…

Get up, bitch. Stop whining.

Success comes from somewhere. Find out where that be. Fuck you’re denials of drunkenness. Get drunk! Success don giva fuck about that.

Make the graded happen.
Wear a utilikilt! Get laid everywhere!


Dotsson
said…

Hey! It’s been an hour since I posted that comment. Get your ass back here and entertain me!
I’m stuck staying up all night 🙁


unokhan
said…

I don’t even have the book

wait what the fuck?


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

Please give me something to end my life with. Something that does NOT involve the words inventory, capital assets or liabilitiessss.


Mr. Shife
said…

Well I would rather be failing tests than trying to find a job. And I agree with your sentiment on the treasury of Atreus. Anyone who knows that can suck a lemon flavored dick.


Carlos
said…

In Spanish, “pedo” means fart. Whatchoo doin’ drinkin’ fart juice?


Anonymous
said…

suck a lemon flavored dick

Y’all say that like it’s a bad thing. O_o

Anne


Woozie
said…

Dotsson: How about Gaddywaddybear? That’s something I’m sure you’d find the most intense pleasure in blowing.

Thimscool: “Fuck you’re denials of drunkeness”

“Fuck you’re denials”

“you’re”


At least you’re not denying it!

Dotsson: Hey! It had been 40 minutes since I went to bed! I’m stuck with an 8 AM class I need to stop sleeping through!

Uno: YEp, don’t even have the book. I meant to buy it but the time and money slipped away. Anyway just about all the material in the book that we’re supposed to read gets covered again in the next day’s lecture.

There are copies in the library for me to use if I ever feel the need though.

Svetlana: Bludgeon yourself with a TI-83. It’ll take a lot of work but I’ll be damned if it’s not an inventive suicide. You might even get on the news.

Mr. Shife: I like the way you think, have a sandwich.

Carlos: Fart juice, bootysweat, Pabst, it’s all the same thing.

Anne: Dick is not supposed to be lemon flavored! It is supposed to be skin flavored with a hint of saltiness. And maybe some cinnamon if you’re feeling creative.

I couldn’t decide whether to tell him to suck a lemon or suck a dick, so I compromised. Like John McCain and Sarah Palin, we’re just a couple of mavericks by golly!


Nashe*
said…

You should come to Singapore and look at our variety of carbonated beverages. We even have cans called “Anything” and “Whatever”.

(There’s no telling what drink is in it. We just know it’s carbonated and alcohol-free. So when the waiter asks you what drink you want, you just go “Anything, dude.” or “Whatever!” and he’ll just select a can for ya. =P
Great for the fickle-minded.)


Woozie
said…

Do you call it soda or pop?


Anonymous
said…

Skin flavored or cinnamon are the only choices? Darn.
…So then, when that black dude next door tells me he tastes like chocolate, do you think he might be lying?

Anne


Woozie
said…

Those are the only two confirmed flavors.

There’s only one way to find out.

And take pictures.


Omar
said…

..with a hint of saltiness.

And after a day or two of no soap and water the taste and aroma of vinegar. Um, er, so I’m told..


thimscool
said…

Guilty!


Gadfly
said…

People only come here hoping that I’ll drop by. Not sure why I continue to bless a young negroid with the favor.

(OK, I gotta take a knee. That one almost made me puke)


unokhan
said…

this is all drifting inexorably toward duck butter, aint it


Omar
said…

Jesus, I hope not.

“Bobby rubbed his deeb all over his roommates pillows? I have some killa DB today??”

Gadfly or no Gadfly, if that starts gettin flung round the island, I’ll be off shore in the skiff!


Woozie
said…

Omar: Vinegar? I was thinking more “fish market”, but okay.

Thimscool: You’ve got stocks in utilikilts don’t you?

G: Nigga you is trippin. I’d get you a bag but your hat should do just fine.

Uno: You are disgusting and a pervert. I’d demand a sandwich but I think I know where your hands have been.

Omar: Don’t mind Uno, he loves buttery crack. Meanwhile I’ll rent us a bus to Vegas loaded with hand sanitizer.


unokhan
said…

where’s boogaloo? i need a heineken to forget having to witness this exceedlinglee unsavory display of reaxion formation n the newly poofed.


Woozie
said…

Heineken doesn’t come in duck butter. There is Bud Light Lime though.

Also lol.


Omar
said…

Don’t ask me what a black woman be smelling. She also says my two-day worked, unwashed armpits smell like Big Macs, so there ya go..


Woozie
said…

You smell like vinegar and Big Macs?

Dude.


Omar
said…

An order of fries and a Coke Zero and I’m the full meal deal, baby!


Woozie
said…

Got a McFrosty?