turn off your mind relax and float

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Turn Off Your Mind, Relax, And Float Downstream

To say the least it’s been a busy end-of-the-quarter. I know I’ve made a habit of posting highly irregularly, as opposed to the daily rantings of old, but these past few weeks have been in one way or another quite hectic. And being concurrently hit with an utter disinterest in writing much of anything doesn’t help matters much, either. So, the question arises, what have I been up to this whole time? If I told you I had been doing something productive, I would be partially lying.

I’ve been failing logic, experiencing sexual frustration, blacking out (or so I’m told), enjoying/being terrified by Paper Mario vision (without playing Paper Mario), stealing music from a gay English professor, excelling at my political theory class, discussing shallow ponds and the scores of babies drowning in them, giving myself flavored emphysema to the sweet sounds of Frank Sinatra, easing into Lady Gaga, taking the problems of my friends as dead weight on my shoulders, and getting excited at the prospect of killing some Turks online. Orhan knows what I’m talking about.

Last night though, somewhere between my dorm room and the hookah bar uptown I lost my iPod. Good news is all my music is still comfortably on my computer (knock on boners), bad news is unless I’m engaged in conversation or in class I’m listening to my iPod. So going cold turkey here is like taking the pipe away from the crackhead. Will it turn up? Hopefully so but probably not. At times like these I would say “fuck my life”, but a friend of mine was greeted not ten minutes after waking up with a special phone call from his mother. Not only is his uncle being taken off life support, but his father apparently has skin cancer. Suddenly the iPod doesn’t seem so troubling, but the loss of that frustration is replaced by this strange thing people call “sympathy”.

In somewhat related news, as it turns out today was my grandmother’s birthday. A stubborn 84 years old. And while this is the first year I’ve forgotten it, she had to be reminded of it too. The Alzheimer’s will do that to you, you know? Anyway, I did give her a call once my mother reminded me to and we had a brief little conversation. I told her I was a political science major here, and she asked if I was going to be the next President. “You’ve got a vote–well two votes, mine and yours!” I don’t think the Presidency is on my radar, but it was still nice to smile on an otherwise dreadful day. The sun didn’t even come out, so I guess those words’ll have to do for today.

41
Manifestos:


Woozie
said…

With one week left in school and the prospect of a summer job looking fainter with time, you can probably expect much more frequent posting during the summer. I can't think of too many people I actually really want to see over the summer.

(And I still use too many parentheses, and I still don't care.)


kara
said…

ambient noise is only dangerous in certain situations. on buses. sidewalks outside of meth clinics. country bars. biology class. the symphany. etc.


Orhan Kahn
said…

I will hopefully have SexBox Live this weekend.

Dude, I hope you can see how much you've grown in the last 12 months. This post says alot.


thimscool
said…

I know I've made a habit of posting highly irregularly

Look, man, I've got no problem with you highness.

But really, if you are irregular at your age, go straight to the Ducolax… it'll make you sound like a truck on gravel, and move nearly as much product.

God speed!


Nashe^
said…

Easing into Lady Gaga… I'm doing that, too. And I'm the same with my MP3. I died of boredom once when my player died on me. Good luck with finding a job. I might be working as a temperature-taker for sick folks at the clinic. Might.


Woozie
said…

Kara: Truths all around but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy the good ambiance! Well I mean, sometimes I do–it's nice to have a break from the music, but not when the break is forced on you.

Orhan: SexBox, I like it.

That was part of the point; I'm particularly happy with this one 🙂

Thimscool: Thank you for understanding my dilemmas and accepting my vices. And for trying to bring "Godspeed" back.

Nashe: But I'm kind of required to by my ethnicity, unlike you.


Terra Shield
said…

I'm curious about the scores of babies drowning in shallow pools.


Anne
said…

Sorry to hear you had a craptastic day. The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun.


wigsf
said…

President Woozie… Sounds good to me. I'd hail to your chief.


StillNoScript
said…

Can you hook me up with the gay English Prof?


Omar
said…

"I hope you can see how much you've grown in the last 12 months."

I dunno, I rather miss the edgy teen that was ready-aye-ready to battle Klansmen, bash poor Tom Cruise at the drop of a hat, knife Patrick Wisda, advocate parental beatings to prevent school shootings, implement if President the ToC being recognized as "The lost chapter of the bible" and many, many other honorable rebellious endeavours!

Stella needs to get her groove back.


billy pilgrim
said…

edgar derby could probably give you a real good motivational speech if not for that feckin teapot.


Imperad r Hasem rder
said…

An iPod is only as good as it's buds.


unokhan
said…

If the sun
refuse to shine
I don't mind
I don't mind


Raspootin
said…

I have turned off my mind and have tried to relax. All I can contribute to this blog (meaning your blog Wooz) is that I find your rhetoric and prose savvy, entertaining and something that I looked for on a daily basis.

You are a talented writer, and as Omar pointed out; shine with effort, but still intrigue without.

I feel very sad tonight so hope my comments will uplift and encourage more off school posts.

You are a journalist at heart with a politician gay humor and intellect; be grateful and please entertain more.

Thims – I am not drunk, I have just been given a life sentence and want to relay that the more one can give, the better one actually feels. Woozie you have that talent, make it latent make is blatant, just don t let it go.


Anonymous
said…

DRUNK.


Carlos
said…

School and life consume. My life over the last 1yr+ has been consuming. Logic sucks. I took it a few years ago. It started out great, but once it got into the symbology part of it, it sucked.


thimscool
said…

Hang in there, Raspy. It can't be that bad.


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

Aw I hope youre doing better now woozbear. Ive been so busy with exams but im finally done and awaiting to see if i passed everything :S Anyways, I shall talk to you soon if youre online. Miss youus.


Anonymous
said…

More buttfucking posts plz.


Woozie
said…

TS: It's an extension of Peter Singer's Shallow Pond theory. He only mentions one, and somehow we extended it to several dozen drowning babies. It was our teacher's last day teaching here ever, too.

Anne: Fun fact, the sun actually did shine on Friday. But my friend's uncle died today, so it kind of balances out.

wigsf: 😉

SNS: No, he's in a pretty committed relationship. You should see their place, it's fab.

Omar: I have to admit, I do not remember that bit about "the lost chapter of the bible"…Tom Cruise though, how could I forget?!

BP: Poor old Edgar Derby…

IH: Funny story about that, I bought new ones the very same day I lost the iPod. Headphones, not weed.

Uno: If all the hippies
Cut off all their hair
I don't care
I don't care

Raspootin: Well this is the last week of classes, and the only final I'm really worried about is my logic one on Monday. So more frequent posting could (could, not will) start as soon as this week. My political science exams are a joke.

And I'll tell you what I told my friend; don't kill yourself just yet, I haven't gotten the exotic animals for your funeral yet. For him I'm getting a pair of Indian elephants. You, I'm thinking Bengal tigers.

Carlos: Our teacher (a grad student who obviously doesn't want to be teaching the class) started off with all the impossible stuff like truth tables and more complicated proofs, and then finished off easy. Apparently he doesn't remember that maxim that every student and teacher everywhere knows, it's easier to start a class strong and finish weak than start weak and finish strong. Summer school here I fuckin' come.

Svetlana: Why thank you 🙂 I'll try to be online at some point, the next two or three days are probably going to be impossibly busy.


sjw
said…

"Turn Off Your Mind, Relax, And Float Downstream"

Ties in nicely with claims racism is no longer haunting the land.


Anne
said…

Since we're on theme songs and water and stuff…

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, children.
Wade in the water
God's gonna trouble the water.
***
I'm going down to the river
Gonna take my old rocking chair
And if the blues don"t get me
I'll float on away from here.

May all your music relate to themes in the most positive ways. Sorry to hear about your friend's uncle.


unokhan
said…

call me. naked.

fall mountains, just
don't fall on me


paz y amor
said…

Yeah man, life will throw some curveballs in a heartbeat. I've learned you just have to swing at it and hope you knock that shit out. My sympathies go out to your friend, some crackhead is jamming to your tunes right about now!


slopmaster
said…

your writing seems more grown up lately… I guess because you've grown up??


Raspootin
said…

DRUNK?

I was "turning off my mind relaxing and floating downstream"

and amusing thimscool all that the same time… multi-tasking so to speak.


Raspootin
said…

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.

George Eliot

just take a second to think about the brilliance of these words.


Gadfly
said…

Ehh… I've got a 4-ish year old. half-gig Motorola player I could send you as a sort of stop-gap … if you could stand to be that ghetto while you get a replacement 😉


thimscool
said…

"The golden moments in the stream of life"…

You lika da golden showas?


Mr. Shife
said…

Sorry to hear about your friend's relatives. Something like that always does put things into perspective. So did the iPod turn up? Hopefully everything else is turning out OK as school winds down and maybe one of those 600,000 jobs Obama said will be here this summer for you.


unokhan
said…

indeed indeed. scope the fierce One's track record:

don't ask, don't tell — gone with the stroke of a pen!

gitmo — shut down with the stroke of a pen!

DOMA — mitigated against, overturned and gone!

look, this man can do anything, and those 600000 promises should b a piece o cake


Raspootin
said…

Plebian: Thimscool

God it s so good to know that you make a crude joke of pure poetry. I always thought you were some what of an ass and now I know. George Eliot is wonderful. May I introduce you to Ann Radcliff, founder of Harvard and Radcliff – she is underrated as a 1700 century intellect, but I guess that the founding of the first University which is still the finest in the land 200 years later may let you ponder her intellect and prose. Perhaps you can even come up with something as crude and disparaging as “golden showers” to discount it I dunno.

You can decide:

From : The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764 Please read it I am just giving you some quotes to wet the appetite.

And since, in our passage through this world, painful circumstances occur more frequently than pleasing ones, and since our sense of evil is, I fear, more acute than our sense of good, we become the victims of our feelings, unless we can in some degree command them.

This applies to you I was going to comment on the complications surrounding the birth of your child, but that would be inappropriate. All I can say is that you used that reason many months ago to explain your behavior. I hear that your child was born healthy and that is wonderful and blessed:)

Last quote says it all. I know you not at all so this is just how I feel. Go Ms Ann – my goodness how I would have loved to have met her.

I never trust people's assertions, I always judge of them by their actions.


thimscool
said…

LOLWUT!

Nothing springs to mind.

Throw me another and I'll redouble my efforts.

[burp]
[scratches balls]


thimscool
said…

Ok… wait. I've got it, but it is a bit of a stretch:

I never trust people's ass-exertions either…

I always judge them by their blog comments.


thimscool
said…

What can I say. I'm tired.

Where is the wobbly weeble? Still recovering from the tryst with Uno?


Raspootin
said…

Thims
oh my; scratching of ones balls is an indicator for pig flu. Perhaps you ought to get yourself checked?

Regardless of our(my) interaction I want you to be "Swell" and "Well"

I will see what ms radcliff has on piggy flu to enlighten 🙂

off to IH's where I actually agreed with you 🙂

woozie. I re read my initial comment to you and by the by I was not drunk; just trying to encourage.
I get what thims says(said about giving it all up) as it is applicable to anyone who has time restraints. Just to say that I do find the "interaction" with your group of bloggers so much more than… As is your writing and concepts.


unokhan
said…

holy shit, man.. yer freshman yr is alreadee drawing 2 a close. or drawn.

i freakt a yr ago when u sed u might sit out a yr. now u c completelee why


BBC
said…

"I know I've made a habit of posting highly irregularly,"

I hadn't noticed being as I don't visit everyday because you are not that important to the universe.

In fact for the most part it doesn't even know that you are here. Just saying.


BBC
said…

Job? You want a job? Do like I did you little monkey, create your own jobs.

Unless of course you want to work in the Dilbert Zone.


Josh
said…

The sun might not have come out, but everyone knew its dirty little secret anyway.

I used to take my iPod to work every day until I discovered Pandora. Much more convenient, plus I have the added satisfaction of sapping the company's bandwidth:

www.pandora.com