woozie

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Woozie

See the colored boy with the big lips and sexy eyes to the right? Oh yes, you know you want me. I’m an out of shape, non-driving, somewhat lazy, laughter loving seventeen year old going on eighteen. I don’t drink or smoke, I don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I like following politics and making art.

I’ve been doing this blogging thing for almost three years now, and it’s kind of unbelievable that it’s been that long. This actually started as an off shoot of a school project and wound up being used by me as an excuse to dick around in class rather than do work. Such was the story of my first half of high school.

But now I try to be more academically inclined. Going off to Ohio University this fall I know that I have to. I used to want to be a journalist, but at this point I’m not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I know the title and sidebar would lead you to think I have a Lenin Corner in my house and a blow up Joseph Stalin love doll in my closet, but no. I’m not a communist. The story of me and communism goes back to those academically questionable early years of high school. Somewhere along the line I took to calling things I hated communist. As a joke. My hateful ways passed but the communism thing stayed. I won’t be renaming the blog. If I were to though, it would be called Interplanetary Funksmanship.

Some people may wonder why I post all this information about and even a somewhat incriminating picture of myself on the internets for all to see. I love the anonymity the internets have to offer, but I’ve found that my anonymity largely died over the course of these past few years. So it goes.

There’s more, there’s quite a bit more, but this is your Premier in a proverbial nutshell.

38
Manifestos:


unokhan
said…

one for all, all for one, each to his own, and a great round cheer for the premier! man, you are so totally gonna rock out this fall, so completely going to set your own terms for how a young life should be lived.

you are allowed to party like mad your first semester and make every kind of friend imaginable. you’ll be in your element, a milieu of your own making, and folx will likewise be drawn to you. second semester you gotta roll up your sleeves and start payin attention but don’t worry about that right now. dammit, i’m so glad for you, and so proud.

scuse me, there must be something wrong, i feel sort of a lump in my throat..

carpe diem!!!!!!!


Dotsson
said…

If you were tall, maybe you could play for the Lakers 🙂


Orhan Kahn
said…

I’d hit that.


thimscool
said…

God bless you, Woozie.


DoctorBoogaloo
said…

Love ya, comrade. Go get ’em.

And as they used to say in an old beer commercial, ‘grab all the gusto you can’.


yellowdog granny
said…

oh sweety, don’t worry about not knowing what your going to be when you get grown up…im 64 and still don’t know what i want to be when i grow up…not 64 is a start..


Lord Omar
said…

coughcoughOhioUniversity?coughcough…


Gadfly
said…

Meh … Somewhere there’s a picture of me posing with in a trenchcoat with an uzi over seven pounds of primo weed.

Wasn’t my uzi and it wasn’t my weed, but that won’t matter if I run for public office LOL


Woozie
said…

Khan: Aww thanks man 🙂

Dotsson: Nigga I am tall, and fuck your Lakers. I hope Kobe gets hit by a truck full of chicken.

Orhan: And I you my sexy sexy friend <3

Thimscool: And Allah bless you my friend. That’s bless, not bomb.

Doc: Was it Billy Beer? Or did Canada not get that?

YDG: How about being a cantankerous radio host?

Omar: Yeah, you got a problem with that nyuggah?

Gadfly: Oh yeah, as if the blog full of BDSM porn wouldn’t be enough to do you in with the gawdly south.


DoctorBoogaloo
said…

Woozie: That tag line was from Schlitz beer… way back when.

I’m not sure if Billy Beer was ever imported up here. (If it was, it didn’t last long.)

There was actually a Three Stooges beer for sale here a few years ago. I was always going to buy a six pack but never did. Then it just disappeared as quickly as it showed up.


Woozie
said…

eBay negro!


whatigotsofar
said…

Is it wrong for me to be scared shitless from the sight of a black man with vodka in one hand and a firearm in the other?


Woozie
said…

No.


Svetlana Alliluyeva
said…

hey I had bids on him first Orhan. 😉


Imperad r Hasem rder
said…

You definitely have a refined Funksmanship.


anisah shurfa
said…

Woohoo! Go Woozie!!!

*holds up an I <3 Woozie banner*


unokhan
said…

this chick anisah has written a kick-ass college survival guide (which see).


Lakota
said…

you are such a cutie-patootie.
and there’s a brain behind that pretty face… also a rather wicked sense of humor. ~grin~
yeah, what’s not to love about Woozala?


Nashe*
said…

All hail, the great Premier.

😉


grey goose
said…

Smirnoff and an AK?

No wonder it’s off to Ohio.


Lord Omar
said…

No problems whatsoevah now that I know the state reptile is the Black Racer Snake.

With God all things are possible!


Josh
said…

Oh man, someone has totally contributed to your delinquency in that photo.


yellowdog granny
said…

now that’s a great idea…but who’d be foolish enough to hire me?..


The Rev
said…

Congrats on graduation. Just don’t take it all too seriously; as Bill Hicks eloquently put it, “It’s all a ride.”


billy pilgrim
said…

happiness is a warm gun.

so it goes.


Woozie
said…

Svetlana: Oh, my

Imperador: And you too, albeit yours is a bit eccentric 🙂

Anisah: Thank you 🙂

Uno: So I saw, I’ll be reading it.

Lakota: Aww, gee…

Nashe: For this does of humility you are promoted to Grand Moff.

Grey Goose: Then I’d be off to Moscow State, not Ohio. They do have a beautiful campus though.

Omar: Yes, praise Jebus! Where’s some sandwiches for us?

Josh: I need contributors?

YDG: Try the Mexican government, I hear they’re hiring. Everyone keeps getting kidnapped.

Rev: Bill Hicks? Isn’t he that guy that stole all his stuff from Denis Leary? 😉

BP: Warm guns, I love those sons of bitches.


Butchie
said…

Uh oh. You posted a picture of yourself.

You know what’s gonna happen

Congrats


Butchie
said…

I don’t know what happened with that hyperlink. Here’s the URL:

http://i28.tinypic.com/149seq9.jpg


citizen of the world
said…

Oh look ,you’re smiling. A slightly evil smaile, but still. (Or mayeb that’s just the guna dn vodka which alter the tone of it!)

If it’s any ocnsolation, sometimes I still don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life.


SinlessTouch
said…

I was suprised that you keep a Joseph Stalin love doll in your closet. Anyway, I like your posts and they are great and interesting.


Queen Goob
said…

I love the fact I have no f’in’ clue what I’m doing with my life; every morning it’s a kick in the ass for a wake-up call.

And leave him alone lord omar, at least he’s not going to be a fuckeye.


Omar
said…

The fuck a fuckeye??


unokhan
said…

Old pirates, yes, they fuckeye


Shaaz
said…

Your a bad muthafuka! and i luf u! xox..


belledame222
said…

awesome. I love the smart young folks, do my heart good, you do -hobbles back inside and fumbles for Geritol-


R2K
said…

How do you get the about me to link here?


Woozie
said…

You can use HTML in the space where Blogger lets you edit the About Me. It’s just a regular link.


nadhsamuel
said…

ARE you sure that you don’t smoke?