2007 09 01 archive

Sunday, September 30, 2007

It’s Like Crack

Can’t post…

Can’t do homework…

Can’t pop bubblewrap…


…Halo…Fuck The Flood.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me…

Oh, now don’t feel bad. Unlike Jesus, people remember my birthday as an actual birthday, not a corporate holiday meant to rape people’s wallets in the spirit of giving (the deed to your house to your bank to help pay off credit card debt.)

Don’t mistake this for attention whoring, I’m not doing naked somersaults at a middle school and then posting it all over JewTube. Chunky frames don’t adapt too well to gymnastics. Anyway, this is mainly a waste of time, letting you know that I am now 17, meaning I can see R-rated movies by myself (oh boy) and I can buy M-rated games. But not the AO ones, those are for 18 year old big boys only.

Now the birthday wish. Let’s see, all the things I could wish for…

-Dick Cheney to come out of the closet
-The FreeCreditReport.com guy to get hit by a bus
-420 Pounds of Marijuana
-A truck full of masking tape (that’s called foreshadowing, boys and girls)
-Ron Paul and Mike Gravel to run together and win the presidency
-Sean Hannity to put on a Klan outfit and take a stroll in Harlem
A freshman to wait on me hand and foot
-Rudy Giuliani to shut the hell up about 9/11 and/or “Islamic terrorism”
-Lou Dobbs to get hit by the same bus that hit the FreeCreditReport.com guy
-Rex Grossman to stick his interception arm in a wood chipper

This is a tough one…I think I’ll wish for a 36 inch penis. Yeah! Think of all the things you could do with a 36 inch penis. You could change the world…

Friday, September 28, 2007

Fuck Steve Jobs, and Fuck AutoSelect

I need someone who knows a thing or two about computers and iTunes.

This new laptop I got came with Vista Home Premium, and the reason I have it is because the old computer has died. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Now, the problem is I am left with an iPod that has a bunch of old music on it, and a blank iTunes account on the new computer (I never bought any songs from iTunes, I just copied CD’s into the library).

I need to get the library from the iPod to the new computer. That pretentious jackass Steve Jobs apparently didn’t think about consumers whose old computers suffered a total system failure and therefore can’t access old iTunes.

This is because Steve Jobs has an iMac and is therefore a superior human being to us lowly Windows slaves, never mind the fact that iMacs cost two thousand fucking dollars. Oh but it’s not a waste of money, because it has an “i” in front of it, therefore it’s awesome. iMac, iPhone, how about iCommunist you stupid piece of iShit?

And while we’re on the topic of technological assistance, how about this-Vista (or maybe it’s the computer) does some annoying thing where if you hover the cursor over something for a period of time, it automatically selects it. So if I left the cursor over another tab in Firefox, it’ll go to that tab and cut off the porn I was trying to watch.

I know none of you can help me with either issue, but it was worth a shot.

UPDATE: Figured them both out. I’m gonna try some communistPod (surprisingly commiPod doesn’t sound as good) things, like the ones Raspootin suggested and one thing I found, and the clicking thing was the laptop.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Legalize It.

This year alone, the War on Drugs in the U.S. has cost nearly 40 billion dollars. And for what? Catching a couple kilos of cocaine every now and then in Miami? Guess what-drug cartels still make hundreds of millions of dollars in the U.S. Drug use rates in the strict United States are just as high, maybe even higher, than those in loosely regulated Europe. Street gangs still kill people every day over the market to sell illegal drugs. And the government is left with its dick in its hand.

It is clear that the solution to America’s drug problem is not stricter enforcement and throwing more money at the DEA.

Rather, it is time for America to legalize any and all drugs, no matter how addictive or destructive. I can see Fox News now, “Cocaine-Crazed Negroes Run Rabid as Radical Leftist Congress Legalizes Drugs”. But let’s be real about this-what other options do we have?

The last time the federal government tried banning a substance Americans already loved was, as we all know, Prohibition in the 1920’s. The government poured millions into drug enforcement to stop the flow of booze. But organized crime bosses such as Al Capone still made million off of liquor, countless murders in cities were directly linked to illegal alcohol, Americans still guzzled the stuff down, and lowly street gangs shot each other for control of the market. And the government was left with its dick in its hand. Sound familiar?

President Roosevelt woke up to the reality of the situation at hand and realized that a senseless ban on alcohol meant to purify the U.S. had actually done the opposite and given immense power to organized crime. The government pushed the 21st amendment through, and the 18th amendment-the only Constitutional amendment to take away freedoms-was repealed. Organized crime lost immense amounts of power, and relative peace returned. Sound familiar?

Unfortunately it doesn’t, because the current government and current society still cling to this belief that the war on drugs can be won, even though it can not. You can’t get millions hooked on a substance and then yank it away from them. Rather than making America safer, the war on drugs is hurting America by empowering criminals, and the time has come to end it.

Drug use is a free choice one should be allowed to make. It is not a crime. Drug addiction is a psychological illness in need of treatment. It is not a crime. And the cost of rehab for hooked Americans would probably be a fraction of the 40+ billion a year we spend on the war on drugs.

Want to keep your kids off of drugs? Educate them. Tell them the truth about drugs; they feel great but most of them will wind up ruining your life and killing you. And get rid of the D.A.R.E. program. As someone who went through it and knows others who went through it, D.A.R.E. simply does not work. It’s a wast of money and a wast of police officers’ time when they could be on the streets enforcing the law.

Hard drugs like heroin, meth, and cocaine are scourges of society but they are unfortunately here to stay. All the money, all the cops, and all the constitutional amendments in the world can’t stop people from liking and using drugs. We owe it to ourselves to do as we did in 1933, and keep criminals from plundering the pockets of the American people and bringing death to the streets.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Suffer, Little Children

(Note: You can read about my dealings with the U.S. Army in the post below this one. I actually wrote this first upon getting the laptop, but the Army thing was a more urgent matter at 4 PM)

Well, well, well, so much can happen in a week. Bill O’Reilly is now a racist, homosexuality doesn’t exist in Iran, Lee Bollinger is a jackass, and these damn little flying gray bugs are all over the fucking place, and for some reason a certain someone is unwilling to call an exterminator. I should catch some of these things and put them in her bed, then she’ll call the Orkin man.

Anyway, today the House of Representatives passed a bill expanding a health care program that covers children of poor families. Meanwhile the Senate was spending its valuable time debating and voting to censure a stupid ad with a pun in it. I love Congress.

Back to the real legislation, since the program is being expanded it will cost more money. The bill calls for the federal cigarette tax to increase by 61 cents, to $1 per pack. And only George Bush would call this an “unacceptable tax increase”. Yes, he actually said that increasing a tax on lethal cigarettes to help poor children is unacceptable.

I heard on the news that the party’s explanation for saying this was that it is another step towards government-run health care (a non-issue for this post), and that it is fiscally irresponsible. Fiscally irresponsible? This coming from the man whose virtually unplanned and indefinite war has cost the United States nearly 500 billion dollars in four years? This coming from the man who took office during a record budget surplus and almost immediately turned it into a record budget deficit? This coming from the man who “traded principle for power and wound up with neither”?

It would be laughable if it wasn’t such a threat to the future of the country.

“I’ve seen what’s around the corner. I’ve seen what’s over the horizon and I promise you, you niggas have nothing to celebrate! And no, I won’t get there with you-I’m going to Canada.”

-Dr. M.L. King, Jr., The Boondocks

Bait and Switch

I went and done dug myself into a hole.

There were some Army guys, a Master Sergeant and I think a Staff Sergeant at the bus stop yesterday right outside school. They were going around with a clipboard asking people to fill out a survey. Naturally, nobody wanted to. They looked frustrated, and I kinda felt bad for them.

So I filled out their survey. name, address, phone number, the whole nine yards. There were some questions that I can’t recall right now, and I marked that I wasn’t interested in joining the U.S. Military. I figured that would be that.

Yeah, big fucking mistake.

Just now a Staff Sergeant called me. He brought up the possibility of joining the Army, and asked if I was interested so long as I was “guaranteed to not see any combat”. A guarantee from the Army is as useful as a jet ski in the Sahara. The sarge asked that I stop by the recruiting office which is curiously enough right outside my school to “have a chat with him for about an hour”. And the incentive for me to attend this meeting is that he’ll “hook me up with a ride home”(see below).

Now the dilemma is how to let them go easy. I don’t want to be an asshole to them because that would be too easy, and they’ve been somewhat nice to me. There’s definitely that subtle arrogance that seems to come along with the Army, which can be quite irritating. Their recruiters should work on that.

I could just dodge the hell out of his questions, we could get into a debate about the merits of war, I could lie and tell him I’m a total flaming faggot, I could just tell him no, I could just not go to the meeting and deny him over the phone; what do you think I should do*?

*Driving a car bomb into the recruiting office and screaming “Allah Akbar!” is not an option.

UPDATE: Figured it out. I’m gonna call him, tell him I’m not really interested and even if I was my mother would kill me (which is true) because she detests the the military leaders on Capitol hill being so out of touch with the soldiers on the ground (which is also true). On to something more interesting.

Friday, September 21, 2007

I’m Still Not Dead Yet

Our computer, proudly made in the People’s Republic, has broken, and in all likelihood it can’t be fixed. I’m tuping this from a school computer, so I probably can’t curse without a librarianazi giving me a stern talking to. I’ll just use “fuzzamaboo” or some stupid shit like that.

While we are waiting for an attempt at repair or to buy a new one (probably Wednesday), let’s start a story. It’s just like before; I start it, you people continue it in the comments and pick up where the one before you left off.

“In the Remote Ice Land of Canada there was once a log cabin, in which…”

Keep this going until Wednesday when I’ll have something better. Don’t fuzzamaboo this up!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Some Things I Don’t Care About

O.J. Simpson: Seriously, everybody shut the hell up about O.J. Everybody knows the juice got away with killing two people (although I don’t know why the prosecution didn’t try and nab him for evading the police) and everybody knows he kicked the door in and said “motherfucker’ a lot. Stop playin’ the damn tape. O.J. needs to shut up, Denise Brown needs to shut up, Fred Goldman needs to shut up. I’m with Michael Wilbon-everybody shut the hell up about O.J.

Madeline McCann: Little kids go missing every day, and more than one stays missing for months on end. Yes, she’s cute, but all most little kids are cute. So what? Where’s the media outcry for all the other little kids that go missing? Anyway, is there not better things that the media could spend their time on, like the vastly under-covered Darfur situation? It’s too bad the media suffers from Missing White Woman Syndrome (MWWS), they might have been able to cover some real news. She’s probably dead anyway, smoking kills.

Steve Fossett: Maybe we should expand MWWS to Missing White Person Syndrome. Steve Fossett is 63 years old and his plane disappeared over the Nevada desert almost 3 weeks ago. I’m no scientist, but I’d say he’s dead. Search for his body, but don’t call it “Breaking News” when the latest fly-over comes back with nothing.

SoCal Wildfires: Wildfire coverage is the exact same every time a fire pops up anywhere in the world. Shit is burning, people are running, 30 story flames, landmark is threatened, controlled 3 weeks later, big fucking deal. I think they might just loop the coverage of some obscure wildfire in 1986 over and over again. Wildfires are local news, not national news. And quit using lazy ass bullshit abbreviations like SoCal, Gitmo, and the latest “idk, my bff ruth”.

Man Puts Rattlesnake In Mouth, Gets Bitten: In other news, “Man drives car, buys gas.” How fucking slow of a news day does it have to be to consider a man being bitten news? He put the fucking snake in his mouth! What did you expect it to do, invite him to a housewarming party? To quote on of the few good Mind of Mencia sketches to see the light of day, “Why The Fuck Is This News?”

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Rhyme Time 3

Axe: Facts: Blacks: Snacks: Sacks: Tax: Tracks: Wax: Backs: Sax:

Friday, September 14, 2007

Because Our Parents Wasn’t Learning

I watched The Decider’s speech about his decision to withdraw roughly 20,000 surge troops from Iraq because there have been noticeable improvements in security, which is true. Granted it is still by no means safe, but it’s better than before.

But maybe Thinking President really is thinking, because I noticed he didn’t mention that the Iraqi government made just about no improvements. Which is smart, because without those political improvements the military improvements mean nothing in the long run. Some Americans are smart enough to realize that but too stupid to notice the Iraqi government’s failures on their own.

The surge was designed to increase security on the streets and buy the Iraqi government time to get their act together, and the surge worked. The problem is the Iraqi government didn’t take advantage of it. I don’t know if they didn’t want to, or if they weren’t able to, I don’t care. The point is they didn’t.

So you know what? Fuck Iraq. We have neither the money nor the morale to stay there forever. The Iraqi government has shown it can’t take control of the country. The religious situation there is so fucked up it’s astounding. To put it simply, they’re fighting over a 1,400 year old minuscule difference between the two branches of Islam that has absolutely no relevance to the here and now. And Iraq’s “rich cultural history”? My grandmother is seven years older than Iraq.

The troops are doing a fine job considering their situation, but they’re simply prolonging the inevitable. I’ve been hearing about how we don’t have a problem with U.S. troops being stationed in Japan for 20 years and South Korea for 50, therefore we should have an open ended Iraq commitment. Well we’re okay with the South Korean situation because U.S. troops there haven’t been getting killed every day for 50 years.

Speaking of adults who isn’t learning, I was watching Anderson Cooper 360 last night and saw the guy with the bent nose, I think his name’s Michael Ware. He was going on some rant about how Iraq sucks-and the rant was quite noticeably bent to the left. And I don’t really have a problem with that. The problem came when Cooper said “That was Michael Ware reporting from Baghdad”.

No. He wasn’t reporting, he was editorializing; what he said was opinion. As a matter of fact I noticed a lot of the programming that night had a bend to the left, from “The Situation Room” at 7 P.M. to the end of AC 360’s speech coverage at about 10:30 PM. And do I even need to mention Fox News’ right wing bend? I flipped to it for about 30 seconds and Brit Hume asked a panel of stuffy old white men about democrats and character assassination.

Don’t call me a hypocrite on the bias issue. This is a weblog subtitled “Young, Politicized, Angry.” See that? Anger is never objective, meaning I report opinion. On the other hand, “Cable News Network” implies that they present the news-not opinion-which last night they failed to do. I hate what we call the news.

Our children isn’t learning because our parents wasn’t learning, and they still isn’t.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Is Our Children Learning?

The quote “Rarely is the question asked… ‘Is our children learning?” is from our verbally challenged comandante, and it’s one of my personal favorites from The Decider.

Did you know that 65 percent of Americans believe that the founding fathers intended the United States to be a Christian nation?

Yes well over half of Americans believe the United States of America is supposed to be a Christian theocracy. But no, “it’s not supposed to be a theocracy” says some douche on CNN the other day whose name isn’t worth remembering, “just a state founded on and enforcing Christian values.”

And oh no the fun does not stop there:

-Only 56% believe that freedom of religion extends to all religious groups (down from 72% in 2000-how about that?)
-55% believe the Constitution establishes the U.S. as a Christian state
-58% believe public school teachers should be allowed to lead prayers in school
-50% think the Bible should be taught in school as historical fact
-43% favor Christian holiday programs in public schools
-34% say that the press has too much freedom
-28% would deny freedom of religion to any faith that the majority (Christianity) considers ‘extreme or on the fringe.

And the best of all, 25% of Americans believe the First Amendment provides too many freedoms to the people.

It should be highly recommended that kids in high school read, analyze, and understand the U.S. Constitution before they graduate. Otherwise you get such textbook examples of profound retardation as these, and nobody wants that. The question is asked too rarely, because it’s quite evident that our children isn’t learning. Education should be “where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Working for the Clampdown

Every now and then I hear about some stupid/sad/desperate teenager who kills him/herself, and it’s a times like that when I’m grateful that there’s really not much that would make me consider suicide. I’d probably even think twice if the NKVD NSA was knocking on the door at 2 A.M.

But one thing that I’m certain that would make me want to end my life is if I woke up one day and I was a 45 year old machine working in a damn cubicle.

I hate cubicles. I hate their blank white palette, I hate their size, I hate their shape, I hate their intentional suppression of anything and everything creative, I hate their uniformity, I hate their conformity, I hate cubicles.

As a matter of fact I’ll take it one step further. I don’t even want a job where I have to wear some fucking suit and tie. I’ll take a job in a damn lumberyard before I slave away in a monochromatic uniform.

I know I sound like some idealistic socialist punk here, but I’m quite serious. I’m not gonna wind up being some fucking drone in a suit typing away in a shitty little cubicle just to get massa in the upper office to name me “Employee of the Month”. I do not want to do it, and I am not going to do it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Dick in a Box

Damn, that was fast. Fred Thompson, long touted among the GOP as “Reagan II”, has already caught Giuliani in Republican polls. Cnsider this-Fred Thompson is the same guy who, just a few days ago, downplayed the importance of catching or killing Osama bin Laden, claiming the man who orchestrated the killing of 3000 civilians is “more symbolism than anything else”.

Although Ronald Reagan was arguably one of the worst presidents in recent memory, he would have had the entire U.S. Armed Forces hunting Bin Laden’s ass down by noon on 9/11/01, and had his head mounted in the Oval Office later that week. Reagan certainly would not have downplayed OBL as a mere symbol. Funny how the “liberal media” won’t pick up on that.

President Thompson might be fun, but I think I’d prefer the Ahnuld, the Presidenterminator. That’s too long, we gotta come up with a better portmanteau for him.

In Conclusion:

Well, I mentioned Osama bin Laden on September 11th. I guess that means this is also a conspiracy thread.

London Calling to the underworld, come out of the cupboard you boys and girls

I just noticed I’m wearing blue and brown. What’s more Amerikan on 9/11?

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Monday, September 10, 2007

General Betray-us/Hate Islam Day

The Petraeus Report, which may have been submitted to the White House for ‘proofreading’ days ago, was released to the public today and surprisingly enough (to me anyway) it says the U.S. could start withdrawing by December and essentially end the surge by next summer, citing that military objectives had been met “in large measure”.

Here’s why it’s surprising. Petraeus did not make much light of the Iraqi government’s noticeable failure to take any real steps in politically stabilizing the country which of course means that the security improvements made under the surge will disappear come next summer. This why this war can not work. Unless the Iraqi government steps up all U.S. troops are are doing is prolonging the inevitable.

Speaking of failures, MoveOn.org put out an ad in (brace for stereotype) The New York Times which said in bold print, “General Petraeus or General Betray-us?” Ha ha, get it? Petraeus rhymes with betray-us! A knee-slapper, huh? It’s the bee’s knees!

For once I have to agree with Tony Snow. He called the ad a “boorish, childish, unworthy attack,” and it really was. Come on, Betray-us? That’s stupid. He’s either reporting the facts straight from the ground, or he’s saying what he was ordered to say-a military man’s job. So Petraeus isn’t a traitor either way you cut it. If anyone in this situation did any betraying it was W and the Congress for allowing this damned war to ever start.

Speaking of “boorish, childish, and unworthy” I’ve noticed the Hitler Hezbollah History Channel is gearing up for September 11th by running the following shows:

American Vesuvius: A comparison of the World Trade Center attacks (2001) and the explosion of Mt. Vesuvius, comparing the aftermath of 9/11 to people being buried, cooked, and petrified in a boiling hot pyroclastic flow.

Shootout- Iraq’s Most Wanted: Terror at the Border: A whole hour of turban targetin’, sheik slayin’ propaganda brought to you by the United States Military!

Shootout-SWAT Team Shootouts: Blasting ‘home grown’ terrorists’ faces off right here in the good ol’, God-blessed U.S.A.!

Man, Moment, Machine: Saddam Hussein and the Nerve Gas Atrocity: Reminding us that Saddam Hussein was an active threat in 2003, willing to use those gases on Americans, and that taking him out was a good thing.

Modern Marvels-Poison: Which I’m sure includes those mysterious anthrax attacks from a couple of years ago that were curiously never solved.

Unfortunately tomorrow is just a bunch of 2 hour specials remembering 9/11 like we’d forget it any time soon. But CNN is running “God’s Muslim Warriors” tomorrow night at 8 P.M.

In Conclusion:

I’ve decided to send something out to anyone who commented on the previous post, so send me your shipping address (I don’t ship to scientologists or to people with wide stances) and it’ll go out, eventually. Maybe.

London Calling to the faraway towns, now war is declared-and battle come down…

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Saturday, September 8, 2007

I Like Mail, Yay!

Do you like mail that isn’t a frighteningly high gas bill? Well do I have a proposition for you! I more or less tagged myself for this meme, but for good reason. It’s a takeoff of that sappy and predictable movie, “Pay it Forward”, except unlike watching the movie this is fun to do.

The meme goes as such: “I will send a gift to the first 5 people who comment on this post”.

That’s right, the first 5 people (or anyone, depending on how I feel, shipping costs, etc.) who comment on this post will receive a prize in the mail within one year of today, but probably sooner than that. Send your shipping address to my email (tomeofcommunism at gmail dot com) or if you’re a retard post it in your comment.

But there’s always a catch. The catch is you have to promise to do the same meme on your socialist blog, or I’ll send you some yummy anthrax as a consolation prize. Just kidding*.

*Not really.

Friday, September 7, 2007

“Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”

There are two people who love each other very much (not pictured). They love each other so much, they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. And this isn’t those bullshit marriages that last 2 years (or 55 hours), they’re dead serious. The love is definitely there, and will be until they’re both in the grave.

So they apply for a marriage license, and the guy at the counter denies them, citing state law. In case you’re retarded, the couple deeply in love is a gay couple, “gay” being a term applying to the LGBT community. I could write a long post explaining specifically why gay marriage should be legal. But considering I have some Nazis to draw and a song to rewrite I’ll simply pose some questions for someone against gay marriage (or someone willing to play Falwell’s Advocate):

-If homosexuality is a “choice”, how do you know? Have you ever tried being gay?

-If homosexuality is a “choice”, should gay people therefore be discriminated against because their personal pursuit of happiness?

-If you say gay people aren’t happy, how do you know?

-Is the reason gay people should not be allowed to marry because they’re somehow incapable of loving another person?

-Should gay marriage be illegal because gay people are subhuman and therefore don’t deserve the rights straight people enjoy?

-Is the reason because two parents of the same sex are unfit to raise a child, despite millions of children all around the world being raised well by single mothers and fathers? What is it about a second mommy or daddy that ruins things?

-How exactly does somebody else’s marriage violate the sanctity of yours?

Anybody else who can think up questions is welcome to join in.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Fuck Matthew 24:4 & 14

Introducing religion, for example Christianity (because it’s the most prolific religion in the United States), into politics and politicians using it to influence their policymaking discriminates against non-Christians, including agnostics and atheists. Mixing church and state is prejudicial and outright illegal.

Those who disagree with the black-and-white immorality and unconstitutionality of the unification of religion and state have no respect for the law and no respect for the principles of freedom, love, and equal rights upon which this nation was truly founded on.

These people believe that nations such as the Islamic Republic of Iran are wrong not because Ahmedinejad and the government authoritatively impose their beliefs on the people, but because they are not authoritatively imposing Christian beliefs on the people. It will be a sad, sad day when the U.S. succumbs to Christianazism, and if the religious right maintains the power it has now this dystopian future is likely not far away.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Please Eat Tasty Animals

On the famous Chappelle’s Show Sketch “The Niggar Family”, milkman Clifton said “Oh I know better than to get between a Niggar and their pork, I’ll get my fingers bit!” Truer words have never been spoken. And fortunately, the good people at PETA have not heard the gospel.

Did you know that factory farming is the #1 cause of global warming, even more so than all the cars in the world combined? Apparently Ingrid Newkirk, president and co-founder of PETA, wants that fact to make everybody in the world put down their cheeseburger in protest of the fascist Meat Industry and their Animal/Global Holocaust.

Bitch please. Getting rid of cars powered by fossil fuels will do far more good than everyone becoming vegans. How, you ask? The demand for oil will be astronomically lower than it is now, meaning no more oil wars and no more highway robbery at the gas pump, freeing up people’s wallets meaning they can spend their money on other things, boosting the global economy We might even be able to pay our mortgages. And specifically for the United States, no more funneling incredible amounts of money into oil-rich countries on the other side of the world who are ‘uneasy’ allies of ours.

Plus, there is no way, and I mean no way, anyone could get 6.5 billion people to become vegans? Why? Because plants taste like shit, as opposed to baby back ribs, fried chicken, cheeseburgers, etc. which are awesome. I won’t say anything about your repulsive cannibalistic “Newkirk Nuggets” (upon her death, Newkirk wants her flesh turned into said nuggets, then grilled and presumably eaten), and you don’t say anything about the “Holocaust on my Plate”.

Speaking of shameless, stupid, animal rights activists, look at this tasteful commentary on Al Gore’s apparent refusal to give up meat and try PETA’s fried crap soy chicken: Oh yeah, let’s demonize Al Gore because he doesn’t want to try our tasty Soylent Green. PETA has been saying that “you can’t be a meat eating environmentalist”. Well now I’m saying you can’t be a PETA environmentalist. They’re criticizing the face of the global warming movement and to a certain extent the movement itself (at least to the average person), while at the same time saying global warming is a threat that must be stopped.

I’m not saying Al Gore should be immune from criticism, but painting a picture of him as a stupid fatass who hates the environment, when he is in actuality quite the opposite, is childish, rude, and tasteless. Then again, we’re talking about a bunch of cabbage-munching cannibal hippy freaks, what do they know about taste?

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Rock the NYC

I’m going to pose a question to you. Last year, about 50% of the curriculum for AP World History had to do with Islam, the history of Islam, and Islam’s effects on the middle east, eastern Europe, and the rest of the world.

Do you think I’m going to ram a truck into a WalMart, shout “Praise Allah” and blow it up?

The ‘people’ who make up “Stop the Madrassa”, probably the same people who believe a magical carpenter will fly down from heaven and save the day as soon as the Dome of the Rock is bulldozed, believe that the the Khalil Gibran International Academy, which teaches the Arabic language and culture, will become “a religious school, a madrassa” that could become a terrorist safe haven or teach children how to commit terrorist attacks. They’re also concerned the school will “isolate Arabic immigrant students” and keep them from “assimilating into the American fabric” which they think is “problematic”.

Christ on a tricycle, these ‘people’ are stupid. I learned a lot about Islam last year in AP World, have I been tarnished by an Islamist agenda? Did my (presumably) Christian teacher instruct me on how to make a truck bomb? Will the Jewish principal of the Khalil Gibran Int’l Academy teach the 6th graders how to field strip and clean an AK-47?

I’m with Bill Maher. I love America. It’s Americans I can’t stand. It’s so embarrassing to find so many Americans who believe “Islam=Terrorism” or “Arabic=Terrorism”. So these kids are terrorists because they’re learning another language? I’ve been learning Spanish since 7th grade, am I ducking the INS while hanging out in front of Home Depot waiting for work? This is bullshit. I have to go do some homework. But if you ask the good people at “Stop the Madrassa”, I’m off to buy some fertilizer and get my pilot’s license. Dun dun dun…

In Conclusion:

“Madrassa” is Arabic for “school”, not “religious school” or “terror camp”.

Listen to The Clash (London Calling has been stuck in my head for a day)

Tell your friends about The Tome of Communism

Monday, September 3, 2007

Read a Muthafuckin’ Book

The following is a music video/PSA by Bomani Armah, a hip hop poet, who for some reason is controversial because of his somewhat-new video which was recently discovered by mainstream media:

Okay, what’s so controversial about reading books (so long as it isn’t The Turner Diaries)? Reading and the other concepts from the video are generally agreed upon as good things to do.Except among black youths who tend spend their money on spinning rims for their 1982 Nissan Sentra, as opposed to saving money for buying land or something else unlikely to depreciate greatly.

House Negro Tony Harris on CNN is one of many people who want to keep this off the airways (it was recently aired on BET of all places) and away from children, probably more because of all the motherfucking cursing, and less because of the message.

But what Tony Harris and the rest are missing is that their kids like crappy music and do listen to it, whether or not you want them to. Just because you put The Beach Boys on their iPod doesn’t mean they listen to it. You know once they get to school they plug their friend’s iPod in and listen to Half Dollar all day. My brother did things along the same lines when our mom took 2 Live Crew and Da Lench Mob away from him when he was my age.

And if kids are going to be listening to crappy music, the least we can do is attach meaningful messages to said crappy music. Because though Gore Vidal may be interesting to people who already read, he’s not gonna convince Tre Street, at any age, to pick up a book. And don’t pull School House Rock or Sesame Street on me, because nobody gives a damn about those past 6th grade/their 6th birthday.

The CNN mauling, masquerading as journalism (Part 1 and Part 2) is what spawned this post, and the people on there against it were talking about how kids don’t understand satire, which is somewhat true. The kids that should see this probably don’t understand satire because they spend too much time watching 106 & Park instead of doing their homework. So hopefully they’ll take it at face value. Read a book and you’ll get some ass, which is true. Now if after you read that book you learn to cook you’ll be the biggest pimp on the block.

I can’t go through all of that was in the CNN mauling because the post would be too long (as if it isn’t now), but to sum it up, Tony Harris’ “interview” and “report” was biased beyond belief, and his resorting to making this a race issue (concerned about the disproportionate representation of whites in the video versus whites in rap/hip hop) and claiming Armah, who listens to music for a living, didn’t understand crunk was pathetic at best. In the 2nd part he sounded like a black Bill O’Reilly. I was expecting him to cut Armah’s mic and call him an America-hating cultural terrorist.

Check out NotARapper.com; Bomani Armah’s an extreme rarity in a music genre unfortunately dominated by niggardry.