2010 03 01 archive

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Culture Clash

Those of you privy to Facebook Bobby may already know this, but last night I walked into the bathroom and came across one of my Chinese floormates washing his feet in the bathroom sink. Now, this isn’t the first instance of the Chinese folks on this floor doing weird shit, merely the most heinous. And oddly, they all involve the bathroom. Washing their clothes in the sink, habitually hocking loogies into any sort of plumbing orifice, scowling at me in the shower room (despite my warning them that they were gonna see my dick if they didn’t wait a minute), covering the seat with toilet paper and leaving it for the next person to use or flush at their discretion; all minor annoyances. But, at least in my opinion, its pretty fucking gross to watch someone pick at their toe fungus over the sink I used to use to brush my teeth (that didn’t stop him from using it to brush his, though). And it’s not like they’re uncultured brutes; given that they’re here I’d assume they all come from families with enough money to be familiar with 21st century living standards. I’m pretty sure China isn’t in the dark ages anymore, but if these guys’ behavior is any indication I couldn’t be more wrong. As my roommate pointed out, “If you think that’s bad, imagine what they do in the showers.”

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

From The “No Shit” Files

It isn’t too often that I see a news story, much less headline, that makes me lean back and audibly say “no fucking shit”. “Kids who lose parents still grieve as adults”, however, is one of those headlines. What kind of time did someone waste to write this riveting journalistic documentation of a fact of life more obvious than “water is good”? Moreover, how much did they get paid to alert us to this breaking news? A sum of money that could have been put to better use than paying dim-witted fuck-knobs with B.A.’s in English, like perhaps hiring staff with some sort of discernible talent.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Ask A Black Dude

After an eventful last Friday night in Athens I made my way back to darling ol’ Rockville, and quickly remembered why I hate this place. So many stores, malls, movie theaters, restaurants, and still there’s nothing to do. If it hasn’t already been labeled as such (or something similar) I would like to coin the term Capitalist’s Dilemma right now. Within 12 hours of coming back, I find myself bored nearly to tears. And no, I don’t have it in me to masturbate for an entire week straight.

Two of my friends went back to school right before I got back, and the third won’t be free until Friday night. Sometime between now and then I’m sure I’ll hang out with my brother, and some friends may or may not be visiting DC just to get out of Athens. Until then however, please make your questions interesting!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Meanwhile, in the World

This morning, after stomping ass on a History final I had presumed I would fail, I listened to the Soviet National Anthem on my way back to my dorm in celebration, and then popped in Halo 3 for some multiplayer mayhem. Needless to say, mayhem is what followed. Round after round I had my ass handed to me, and I finally put the controller down once I realized I was more pissed off at the game than I was at having a final at 8 in the morning. Priorities. Being part of the internet generation I can’t be apart from technology for more than five minutes, so I quickly hopped online and played some Bob Marley to soothe my nerves. I hold that the version of “No Woman No Cry” on Legend is one of the finest live performances ever recorded.

After the typical internet experience–facebook, 4chan, porn, facebook–I wound up surfing the big three cable news sites for the first time in a very long time. John Edwards’ mistress has an interview and spread in GQ and is reportedly in tears over how bad her photos are. Pauvre b b . But hey: no matter how gargantuan your ass looks or how masculine your face looks Rielle, at least you don’t have breast cancer. Senator Chris Dodd “puts Wall Street in Washington’s sights”, as he proposes legislation that would be the most sweeping reform of the economic system since the New Deal. Also important to remember is that lobbyists were not an omnipresent and nearly omnipotent political force in 1933. Israel is pushing to build more Jewish housing, this time in east Jerusalem, to the enraging of the Palestinian community who claim ownership of the city as well as the Obama administration who has called Israeli conduct “insulting”. Honestly, everything that can be said about Israel and Palestine that can be said has been said (kind of like the teabaggers). What more is there?

Good to see nothing has changed during my absence. Llewellen, my pipe?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Again Again

Another homophobic Republican has been caught with a cock in his mouth. This week’s victim, California State Senator Roy Ashburn, was arrested for driving (his state-provided vehicle) while drunk early Wednesday morning after leaving a gay bar in Sacramento. Yesterday morning Ashburn mustered up the balls (pardon the sort-of pun) to say on the radio what everyone had long ago concluded. How often does a straight man get arrested leaving a gay bar at 2 in the morning?

“I am gay. And so I … those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long. But I am gay. But it is something that is personal and…I felt with my heart that being gay didn’t affect — wouldn’t affect — how I did my job…”

In case you were wondering, Ashburn stands by his anti-gay voting record by saying he was simply representing the will of his constituents. Let us look upon this shining example of a politician: so devoted to his constitutional duty as a state senator to represent the people, that he should do so even when it goes directly against all that would serve to benefit him. So selfless, so honorable. If only we had more Roy Ashburns in the world, maybe this would be a more perfect union.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Majora, Minora

So I think it’s been reaffirmed that I’m the worst blogger in existence. People tell me occasionally that I should do this sort of thing for a living, and its times like these that I remind them that one can’t just up and leave their actual job for three weeks and expect to come back to something of a warm, welcoming audience. You know I love you; please love me back for I can’t handle another broken heart (totally not a sympathy card). However if I showed some sort of diligence, some sort of determination then maybe I could write for a living. Not talk, but write. I’ve said it before: I’m very different on here than I am in person. I loathe public speaking and in conversation with people I tend to take a more passive role.

At any rate, what the hell have I been up to? Well, for one, I’m bracing to fail one of my classes. My US History from 1945-Present teacher (I refuse to call him a professor) is a dick. He told my roommate on a paper (shortly before he dropped the class), “this paper makes you sound ridiculous” and gave him a D-. An idiotic dick. According to him, DDT does not cause cancer and Ho Chi Minh was a Stalinist. In addition to someone who knows not what the fuck they are doing, my little Feels-Like-I’m-Fixin’-To-Die period (which we’re mostly over, btw) didn’t exactly enable me to focus on my academics. I’m not going to do well in another class of mine either, but that disappointment is nobody’s fault but my own (apparently you actually have to go to class, even if it’s at 10 AM and only a 100-level).

Counseling has been going pretty well. Not at all what I expected, but well. My shrink is warming up to me and doesn’t seem as suffocatingly cautious as he used to. I leave each session less and less morbidly depressed, so that’s an improvement. He told me to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings throughout the week so that something dominating my mind on Sunday isn’t forgotten by Friday’s session. However, I’ve been so goddamn busy I forgot about it until just now. Paper after paper after paper juggled with a re-blooming social life, whatever worries counseling brings upon my shoulders, a kid that wants to jump my bones (and I want him nowhere near mine), and an apparent boyfriend (I know what you’re thinking, “wut”). I’ve got a lot on my plate. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to break a freshman’s heart. Things have a way of coming full circle.