chocolate salty balls part ii

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Well last night I attempted to make the Chocolate Salty Balls. I had to pretty much make up the recipe as I went along, as two 5 pound bags of sugar is insane. I’d share the recipe, but there’s probably some improvements that could be made (more sugar) and it turned out so well, I’m not even sure that I want to share it. It might wind up being a family secret or something like that. Anyway, let’s share some pictures:
These were the ingredients/materials used: Milk, Sugar, Chocolate, Flour, Butter, Eggs, vanilla, Cinnamon, and unfortunately hidden from view, the brandy. The soap, coffee, coffee-mate, and toothbrush head were not used in the making of the batter.

Ah, there she is! My beautiful, beloved brandy. Cognac Salignac, from France, to be exact. Actually I found out I don’t like (straight) brandy, way too bitter. Or maybe it was just a bad bottle, I don’t know.
This was what the batter looked like after everything, including the brandy. It looked like cake batter, but it was a whole lot thicker and heavier, as planned. Note the Wendy’s cup in the background. By this time I had eaten so much of the batter that I was a little drunk, quickly approaching on completely hammered at the rate I was eating the batter. So, although the Wendy’s was just dinner it served to water down and absorb the booze. No hangovers for me.

Now, here was where I ran into an unforseen problem. I had planned for the batter to be thick enough to the point where I could just roll it into a ball, much like meatballs, and bake them in the oven as such. However, the batter was not that thick, and we did not have any ball molds, so we settled for muffins.

True to the song, we baked the chocolate salty ~~balls~~ muffins at tree-fiddy, but since the song didn’t specify how long, we just cooked them, and occasionally stuck a toothpick in them. When the toothpick came out clean, they were done. That took 18 minutes, and then we pulled them out and I took a bad picture of the muffins, seen below.
I took a bite, and they were good. Really good. The only thing I’d add is more sugar and maybe a hard milk chocolate coating. And for the hell of it, why not a creamy vanilla center? I intend to eventually find and buy ball shaped cooking molds so the chocolate salty balls can actually be balls.

On the whole, it was a success. I wrote a recipe, had a good snack, and got drunk. The system works!

21
Manifestos:

Lord Omar said…: Congrats on the culinary success. Who is we?; Sunday, October 22, 2006 6:37:00 PM
R2K said…: Lol I want to try that now.; Sunday, October 22, 2006 8:04:00 PM
dr m ® said…: whoaaaaaaaaaaaa chocolate salty muffins….

Do I get any… to bite on?; Sunday, October 22, 2006 8:08:00 PM
Woozie said…: We was just an accidental change in tense or whatever it’s called, they can’t all be gramatically perfect.

And Canada’s a bit far away to have a chocolate salty muffin, how about an eChocolateSaltyMuffin? (That doesn’t roll off the tongue very well…); Sunday, October 22, 2006 8:17:00 PM
angel said…: mmmm…. just makes me wanna put ’em in my mouth and suck ’em!

Classic!! (giggles); Sunday, October 22, 2006 9:02:00 PM
Big Ben said…: Drinking on the job! Where are your parents?; Sunday, October 22, 2006 9:20:00 PM
Margaret said…: maybe you needed that 2 5lb bags of sugar after all? Great Iron Chefing Woozie!

In fact, with the absense of one ingredient these are much like my own recipe for truffles.; Sunday, October 22, 2006 10:49:00 PM
Anonymous said…: Chocolate.

Cool.

Muffins.

Good.

SALT?

WHAT THE FUCK?; Sunday, October 22, 2006 11:43:00 PM
Vengelyne said…: I hope it was hygienically prepared, at least. =P

The ingredients sound way too sinful and scary for my liking. Glad you enjoyed it.

But you should share the recipe… sharing is caring!!!; Monday, October 23, 2006 12:12:00 AM
sammyray said…: You should stick with the ones God gave ya, boy.

And they should stick to you.; Monday, October 23, 2006 1:02:00 AM
Anonymous said…: Sammyray deliberately incites me. But two can play at that:

BASEBALL SUXXX FISH! TERRIBLE FISH!; Monday, October 23, 2006 7:19:00 AM
Orhan Kahn said…: Superb effort mister Wooz.; Monday, October 23, 2006 7:59:00 AM
sammyray said…: I incite nothing but love.

Love for chocolate salty balls.; Monday, October 23, 2006 8:18:00 AM
Gadfly said…: Next time add some salt. That’s the only thing that’s bad for you that is not on the ingredients list.

Sugar — fats — salt

That’s the holy trinity of shit that tastes really good.

Add a half teaspoon of salt. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.; Monday, October 23, 2006 10:41:00 AM
Anonymous said…: i must have a chocolate salty muffin. i must!

…they sound sooo good. i feel deprived.

*sob*; Monday, October 23, 2006 12:30:00 PM
K nig Hasem rder said…: The first picture looks like it is from a police report. Meth lab or IED set up. You’ll be under surveillance soon.

Don’t all salty balls have a creamy white center, fallen from grace, grammar Nazi.; Monday, October 23, 2006 12:48:00 PM
IDigHootchAndCootch said…: ball shaped cooking molds are alright if you can stand the pubes.

HAHAHA.

That was stupid.; Monday, October 23, 2006 1:23:00 PM
Woozie said…: Relax, relax, I did add salt. Only 1/4 teaspoon though. Maybe the booze hasn’t worn off just yet.

Glasshouse, I may already be under surveeillance. A friend of mine last year reported me to the CIA for terroristic activities. I should drop by al-Jazerra and HelloKitty.com, just to freak them out.

And your sentence:Don’t all salty balls have a creamy white center, fallen from grace, grammar Nazi.

I could rip that to shreds. There should be a question mark after ‘center’, and then a ‘You have’ before ‘fallen from grace’, and finally ‘grammar Nazi’ should be ‘Grammar Nazi’, because the powers that be have decided ‘Grammar Nazi’ is a proper noun. I’m back baby! Large and in charge; stylin’ and profilin’!; Monday, October 23, 2006 3:29:00 PM
dr m ® said…: Oh… people with good grammar skills make me happy.; Monday, October 23, 2006 6:16:00 PM
Nicole said…: woozie…you kill me!!!:); Tuesday, October 24, 2006 11:51:00 AM
Nothing Wood said…: That is great. I wanna make some too.; Tuesday, October 24, 2006 4:43:00 PM

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Chocolate Salty Balls Part II

21 Manifestos:

21
Manifestos: