Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Day The Lols Died
Billy Mays, infomercial and internet royalty, has died. He was 50.
If America were a bearded middle aged white man with a loud, obnoxious voice commanding your attention and trying to get you to buy something (who are we kidding, that is America), then Billy Mays was the majestic eagle soaring over the suburban mega-mall and crapping on the BMW’s in the parking lot. And with that precious eagle now extinct, all we have is Vince the garden variety ShamWow pigeon. There can be only one Billy Mays.
In addiction to being an infomercial personality, Billy was an internet (read:4chan) icon. Fox News, the it-getters that they are, clearly understand this as they cast aside yet another South American military coup to devote Sunday’s headlines to the one and only Billy Mays–and in all caps too; he would have approved. Fox’s storied relationship with 4chan, tracing back to hackers on steroids and corruptions of “lol”, is one of but a few support mechanisms the internet community has in troubled times like these. Now who will yell at us through the television and computer screens? Where will the internet get its infolols from now? Today the internet weeps, for it has lost one of its few heroes.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to buy some Mighty Putty. To mend my soul.
Purged by
Woozie
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10
Manifestos:
Am lie
said…
Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to buy some Mighty Putty. To mend my soul.
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
lol. Why is everyone dying?
Sunday, June 28, 2009 6:54:00 PM
unokhan
said…
Sunday, June 28, 2009 7:50:00 PM
Terra Shield
said…
Yeah… everyone's dying. Freaky.
Sunday, June 28, 2009 8:57:00 PM
secret agent woman
said…
Is it just me, or are celebrities suddenly droppinglike flies?
Sunday, June 28, 2009 9:07:00 PM
Beelzebub
said…
No amount of OxyClean can remove Billy Mays' screaming sales pitches from my memory.
Sunday, June 28, 2009 10:33:00 PM
Nashe^
said…
(I don't know who he is.)
Monday, June 29, 2009 12:02:00 AM
Grant
said…
I just saw Billy Mays in a news interview yesterday and he looked 100% healthy
Monday, June 29, 2009 1:43:00 AM
dmarks
said…
Geographically picky that I am, I feel the need to point out that the coup over the weekend was in North America, not South America.
Monday, June 29, 2009 6:29:00 AM
StillNoScript
said…
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 4:08:00 AM
StillNoScript
said…
Wozzie
I like the ShamWow guy. He's down to beat pimp smack a hoe when she gets outta line.
http://thesmokingguncomments.blogspot.com/2009/04/shamouch.html
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 4:11:00 AM
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